"Lifetime is the girl that goes from boyfriend to boyfriend too much. Why can't it get married to someone who cares and wants to be in it for the long haul?" -Former Lifetime president of entertainment Susanne Daniels on the network's struggles to determine its ideal demographic. God, this analogy really says so much, doesn't it?

What's better than reading recaps of terrible TV? Pretty much anything, including ball cancer and genocide. But also, recaps of terrible Lifetime movies. Particularly when written by young Alex Pareene. You'll thank us later.

There's this insane Times article about how Lifetime is for women and Spike is for men? So many things about it are suspect. (Including the line that Lifetime "recently started a separate, movies-only channel." The Lifetime Movie Network actually began in 1998?) And then: "It's a tough call as to which is the more cynical ploy: brazenly playing to a female audience that probably could stand to lose a few pounds or shamelessly playing to a male audience that likes to fantasize about women more gorgeous than actually exist in real life." So Lifetime's damned if it puts normal-looking women on TV and damned if it doesn't, I [...]

Awl pal Alex Pareene is again recapping Lifetime movies. The latest installment considers Lifetime's penchant for scenes where women embarrass their husbands at important parties. You will enjoy it.