Posts Tagged: Lies
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Everything You See Today Is A Lie

Be aware that anytime today when you read something, hear something or see something you should take a second to remind yourself that the odds are it is a fabrication, one that is either so brazen and titanic in its scope that you cannot believe anyone would expect you to fall for it (thus giving it a weird kind of credibility) or so plausible in its larger details that you fail to notice that certain less significant aspects of it are full of falsehood. These lies, both large and small, aim to take advantage of the innate trust we are all born with as human beings and somehow maintain even [...]

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Caffeine Is Lies And Empty Promises

Here is a nightclub bouncer analogy that should help you understand how caffeine works.

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Lies My Breakfast Told Me

Can you trust the color of the yolks in your eggs? No you can not. Everything you know is a lie, and everyone you know is a liar, and everything that happens to you happens to relieve you of your money, love or time. If you don't know what the scam is, you're the sap. It's all BUNK, buddy. All of it. Stay drunk and die young.

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Why Are Reporters Constantly Misquoting People?

Los Angeles Times reporter Jasmine Elist interviewed the author known as "Marie Calloway." (That is a pen name; if you don't know her, you could start here.) The Times published the interview as a Q&A on Monday. Calloway's response? "I was misquoted a lot tbf." (Old people: "tbf" stands for "to be fair." I know, it's just so many letters, thank God.) "To be fair" is a weird construction there: to be fair to whom? I asked the reporter about it, baitingly.

@Choire :) No, I don't. But I do think she'll always have a bone to pick with the people who interview her

— Jasmine Elist [...]

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"The online stranger is the great boogeyman of the information age"

"The online stranger is the great boogeyman of the information age; in the mid-2000s, media reports might have had you believe that MySpace was essentially an easily-searchable catalogue of fresh victims for serial killers, rapists, cyberstalkers, and Tila Tequila…. [But] Internet friendship yields a connection that is selfconsciously pointless and pointed at the same time: Out of all of the millions of bullshitters on the World Wide Web, we somehow found each other, liked each other enough to bullshit together, and built our own Fortress of Bullshit. The majority of my interactions with online friends is perpetuating some injoke so arcane that nobody remembers how it started or what [...]

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The Lyin' Liberal Media Tries to Trick Men Twice Today About Fashion

The lies of fashion were many and various today. And they were all aimed at the lesser, more worried sex.

1. PLEATS ARE BACK said the Murdoch St. Journal.

2. Perma-tied bow-ties are ALL THE RAGE, says the Gay Lady (that is the styles section of the New York Times).

Pleats are not back—the evidence was even sketchy in the "trend" piece, as they lumped in Prada with the four makers of pleated pants, with Prada's unpleated but darted pants. (There is a particular Prada pant infesting the stores right now that has 100% vertical pockets and is shaped pretty much like a jodhpur. It [...]

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Photographer Robert Stolarik Roughed Up for Second Time in a Year by NYPD

It was just last December when photographer Robert Stolarik was shoved around while on assignment for the Times, at an Occupy Wall Street protest. This weekend, the NYPD got him even harder, arresting him for shooting in the Bronx, and keeping him most of Saturday night, until he got to go to a hospital in the early morning for x-rays. It's always instructive when a journalist gets arrested, because we don't usually get to hear about how cops treat people on the street. In this case, we get a particularly huge pile-up of NYPD lies: he allegedly hit an officer in the face with his camera and [...]

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Money Is A Giant Lie

"When banks make loans, they create money. This is because money is really just an IOU. The role of the central bank is to preside over a legal order that effectively grants banks the exclusive right to create IOUs of a certain kind, ones that the government will recognise as legal tender by its willingness to accept them in payment of taxes. There's really no limit on how much banks could create, provided they can find someone willing to borrow it. They will never get caught short, for the simple reason that borrowers do not, generally speaking, take the cash and put it under their mattresses; ultimately, any money a [...]

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Meteorologists Are Blowing Wind Up Your Ass

"The truth about 'wind chill': Does it even really exist?"

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Guess Who Lies?

Business majors, children of divorce and religious types are more likely to lie for financial gain, says a study, making poets from happy families as the only honest poor people left in this world.

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Horoscope Knows People Are Talking About How Useless You Are Behind Your Back

"Despite what some people might say you are more than just an accident of the universe – there is meaning to your existence."

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Ross Douthat on Abortion: A Case of Op-Ed Malpractice

I feel for Times op-ed contributor Ross Douthat—at times. He has to work extra-hard to communicate ideas about religion to atheists and Christians alike, and also to lock down his cases against hedonism and "pre-marital sex" and abortion, consulting as he does for a liberal paper in a liberal town. And as a religious person, he has to both obey and articulate his faith's professed principles of empathy, even while being a polemicist. This is a sticky situation! So it's reasonable that he sometimes succeeds at one but fails at the other.

This weekend, however, he's gone too far. He's mangled and misrepresented a major study to his own [...]

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The Atlantic Yards: A "Brazen and Costly Scam"

Here is a concise history of the Atlantic Yards and the development—or lack thereof!—of that side of downtown Brooklyn. Don't worry, you have plenty of time to read it, this garbage will be going on until 2037, at which time, one hopes, the seas will have risen enough that we'll have had to move on to making canals down on Wall Street.

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Florida's Welfare Drug Tests: An Abysmal Waste and Failure

"Required drug tests for people seeking welfare benefits ended up costing taxpayers more than it saved and failed to curb the number of prospective applicants." —Boom. Donezo. Florida's evil governor Rick Scott isn't even good at being evil.

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The "Lie Three Times" Rule

"If you are trying to sell a product, a service or even a personality (such as running for office), you will experience the most success if your marketing strategy includes three positive claims — no more and no less, according to new research published in the Journal of Marketing. The findings show that giving three positive claims about your product creates a more positive impression than just two; but a fourth claim makes it look like you’re trying too hard — inviting consumer skepticism."

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What Kind Of Liar Are You?

"In a new study, researchers found that people generally fall into three categories: Some are honest most of the time, many are honest about their lying and some people lie a lot."

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Rough Month For School Hater Jeb Bush

Jeb Bush, education reformer (AKA charter school profiteer and destroyer of public schools), is finally getting into some hot water. How hot is "school choice" down in Jebland? Well, Pitbull is opening a charter school this week. The "I Know You Want Me" auteur has partnered with Academica and the school will focus on sports management. (I don't know?) Academica is essentially a tax-free real estate conglomerate whose clients are schools. It's brilliant really—and they make money, while 25% of other charter schools go out of business. Jeb Bush as well has been doing nicely, but finally he's coming out on the downside—though only "optically." (Barf.) But [...]

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Did You Accidentally Fertilize An Egg During Hurricane Sandy, Thereby Bringing About The End Times?

Are you pregnant now, and in your second trimester? Then you are obviously the most selfish human in the world, and your terribleness will bring forth a child of great evil, who will shower devastation upon the country and usher in a new dark era of rising tides and a catastrophe of the climate.

Oh, wait, that was happening anyway? Cause and effect is so COMPLICATED. Sorry, no, your baby is fine! As you were! I'll buy it a nice cashmere blanket that it can barf on.

But apparently people were traipsing up and down stairs with buckets of water, people were watching their kitty cats float away, [...]

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Just 20 Minutes Of Practice And You Can Lie Like The Pros

"The more you practice a lie, the better you get at it, say the results of a new study. Published Nov. 12 in the journal Frontiers in Cognitive Science, the study found that, after 20 minutes of practicing their cover story, liars could respond just as quickly and easily to lies as to the truth. Moreover, they were no more likely to slip-up on falsehoods than on the truth."

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There Goes Lyin' Ryan

Observers: Paul Ryan's convention speech last night was possibly a tad inaccurate. Will he somehow manage to get away with it? Yeah, probably.