First they came for the sodas—wait, actually, first they came for the black people. But after the City mounted a sophisticated campaign to harass and subjugate basically all non-white people, up to and including Forest Whitaker, then they came for the sodas.

Now, the New York City council is going to vote to forbid the possession of awls by minors and young adults of voting age. We are not even joking, somehow.

Peter Vallone, Jr., is the sponsor of this piece of legislation, which we think appears before the full City Council today at 1:30 p.m. (We say "we think" because the City Council published [...]