Malcolm Gladwell is bringing "his extraordinary alchemy of story-telling and intuitive thinking on a UK tour." He will deliver such insights as: "You can't start blogging at 23 and call yourself a journalist." Oh can't you? I suppose you can't start juggling and getting in tiny cars at 33 and calling yourself a clown, either.

Steven Patrick Morrissey, patron saint of artistic homosexuals and East L.A. Mexicans and the hags attendant to each, observes his 50th birthday today. Depending on which side of 1969 you are born, that should make you feel either incredibly old or incredibly young. Morrissey is observing his half-century in typical style: with two hometown shows at the Apollo in Manchester. And now I am going to take to my bed for the rest of this sunny day. Have a great weekend!