Spider Is Fierce For Fierceness Sake

How boring and human is it to think that the female crab spider would change colors to ward off predators and cajole plasma-swollen bugs into webs? Pshaw. Who drinks blood anymore? Vampires are out! Centaurs are in! Fashion spiders are innest of all! Stop scratching your heads scientist-people! Don't be all up in de rigeur arachnid biznass, harshing the mellow, weezin' the juice, and trying to divine some sort of evolutionary FUNCTION for the spider looking appropriately resort seasonish on a resort seasonish flower. There are no reasons, there is only FASHION! Fashion that maybe should crush these delicate exoskeletons to make pigment because these bitches WORK. Unless crushing [...]
