"In showbiz, there is the term 'jumping the shark' that is used to describe a project in decline. It is derived from the hit sit-com 'Happy Days' which, sorely lacking for material after years on the air, featured a show wherein The Fonz went waterskiing in a leather jacket and encountered a shark. You guessed it: the Fonz jumped over the shark on the skis. After that, the days were not so happy on that program." READ MORE

Gay Talese on Tony Bennett dueting with Lady Gaga in the New Yorker is blowing people's minds, but mostly from afar, as it's subscriber-only. Spoiler: she spends the recording session drinking whiskey.

Sad news yesterday from Florida, where saxophonist Clarence Clemons, the big man who made all the little pretties raise their hands when he joined the E-Street Band in 1972, was left partially paralyzed after suffering a stroke at his home. He's had two brain surgeries, but is reportedly now in stable condition. Clemons, 69, plays on Lady Gaga's new album, on a song called "The Edge of Glory," and performed it with her on American Idol last month. READ MORE

"The innovation of Lady Gaga in the desultory days of 2007 was the difference between becoming a youth icon at 16, as Britney and her ilk did, and becoming one at 22, after a diploma from Sacred Heart and a few solid semesters at New York University—and so, presumably, with enough Freud, Marx and Gawker to understand her identity as a commodity, and what that really meant.... 'The Fame' was unmitigated fun, a likeable young trader making a killing for her personal account with crafty biography arbitrage—who knew there were inefficient markets willing to pay so much for 'shut my playboy mouth' and 'I wanna take a ride on your disco stick'?" READ MORE

What I don't understand about the future, AKA the present, is: well, who's zooming who? Take a "brand synergy moment" like Lady Gaga premiering her new album in Farmville, which, if you are new to the Internet, is some kind of "time management" game on Facebook where you grow crops. So who pays whom for the honor? Gaga gets an enormous, frightening, keyed-in audience; Farmville gets exclusive "added value." Maybe nobody pays anyone? Is this what Tina Brown wanted in the 90s? Also, between this, her abandoned Target promotion, the terrible new song and everything else, has anyone ridden the steep sine wave of exciting fame to slavish corporate sadness faster? It seems like only yesterday she was making out with ladies in prisons and now she's helping people raise virtual sheep.

The plot recount of Lady Gaga's "Judas" video begins at 2'44", which is really all you need: "The video starts off with Gaga on a motorcycle with her motorcycle gang and her behind Jesus and Judas behind her and she's looking behind her shoulder looking at Judas and everything and then Judas gets in front of everybody and Gaga starts singing 'Oh I'm in love with Judas' and, you know, I'm not even looking at Gaga no more, I'm looking at Jesus on the motorcycle and I shouldn't even be looking at Jesus like that." This is true.

Just hit play on both at the same time. But hey, remember that time that there was a new Lady Gaga video and I almost couldn't even get a blog post out of it? It was a big pile of meh. Bet I'd feel different if I were 15. Anyway, there's an exclusive deal with Target where you can get it for free, if you don't mind doing business with people who fund Michele Bachmann. (I do!)

So, here's another story for you. It's grimmer than the last one, but we tell it almost as often. It goes like this: She's perfect. She's perfect because we made her perfect; because everything about her is entirely within our control. She's your long-lost love, your new and improved wife; she's the girl you never got over, or the girl you could never have. And now, she loves you. She has no choice; loving you is what she's for. Until, one day, she gets too smart. She starts thinking in ways she's not allowed to think. She gets political. And that's the point at which she decides to kill you with her giant metal fists. READ MORE

tonight i am DJing a loft party in midtown for halloween and on the subway ride here there was a zombie sitting next to me playing solitaire on her iPod nano, a samurai trying to secure his sword to his belt by tying it up with excess fabric, and two Nicki Minajes with pink wigs and pink eyelashes dancing on those poles on subway cars that you hold on to so you don't fall down when the train lurches. right now i am in the loft setting my computer up and one of the organizers is off somewhere getting me a cable to connect my hard drive to my computer because i forgot mine at home. they hired security guards for this party and one of them is standing about a hundred feet away from me by the back door, arms folded and feet spread apart, already in position even though nobody is here yet except the staff. my friend angelica who came with me is picking some choice candy for us out of the big candy bowl near the bar, i told her i don't want any of those off-brand hard candies or assorted-color tootsie rolls that i only see around halloween, you know what i'm talking about READ MORE