The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:40:24 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 Karl Lagerfeld Made This For You http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/karl-lagerfeld-made-this-for-you http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/karl-lagerfeld-made-this-for-you#comments Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:40:24 +0000 Mary HK Choi http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/karl-lagerfeld-made-this-for-you FOREALSThis SpongeBob SquarePants figurine fetched $1,500 at auction in Paris because Karl Lagerfeld perched some specs on it, painted fingerless gloves and attached what I thought was a pharaoh's postiche but is actually a very rakish plastic tie with a symmetrical windsor knot. Bully.

The money was raised for the WWF which it turns out has nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with some charity involving a large and supercute panda logo but I don't think the Stephen Sprouse-ish nod to the "Bob Qui?" is the tack to take especially since "Bob Quoi the Fuck?" really gets to the heart of the matter.

Seriously, is he dreaming exclusively in ugly these days? It's so embarrassing how doddering and oldtimey it is to trick out SpongeBob, it's SO Pharrell, SO Nigo, SO Russell Simmons. The Kaiser is now openly pelting us with fistfuls of cudgeled shit from what is seemingly an inexhaustible pile of shit that maybe costs $400,0000 a year to climate control. Let's do nothing about it.

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]]> FOREALSThis SpongeBob SquarePants figurine fetched $1,500 at auction in Paris because Karl Lagerfeld perched some specs on it, painted fingerless gloves and attached what I thought was a pharaoh's postiche but is actually a very rakish plastic tie with a symmetrical windsor knot. Bully.

The money was raised for the WWF which it turns out has nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with some charity involving a large and supercute panda logo but I don't think the Stephen Sprouse-ish nod to the "Bob Qui?" is the tack to take especially since "Bob Quoi the Fuck?" really gets to the heart of the matter.

Seriously, is he dreaming exclusively in ugly these days? It's so embarrassing how doddering and oldtimey it is to trick out SpongeBob, it's SO Pharrell, SO Nigo, SO Russell Simmons. The Kaiser is now openly pelting us with fistfuls of cudgeled shit from what is seemingly an inexhaustible pile of shit that maybe costs $400,0000 a year to climate control. Let's do nothing about it.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/karl-lagerfeld-made-this-for-you/feed 5 Karl Lagerfeld Extrudes Huge Puffy Chanel Bag O' Fug http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/karl-lagerfeld-extrudes-huge-puffy-chanel-bag-o-fug http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/karl-lagerfeld-extrudes-huge-puffy-chanel-bag-o-fug#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:28:11 +0000 Mary HK Choi http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/karl-lagerfeld-extrudes-huge-puffy-chanel-bag-o-fug LILY ALL INIt's September 30th, 2009 which, as you all know, is just three days shy of that life-altering moment we've all been waiting for: the release of the Cocoon by Chanel line. You know the one, it's got Lily "fake retiree" Allen in the campaign looking Audrey or Gabrielle or whatever gamine, doe-eyed/sloe-eyed, long-necked, 3/4 length everything, somethingsomethingmignonmignonDIAMONDS!

Cocoon, for those who remain completely ignorant of such very important, cataclysmic fashion tectonic plate shifts (Oh that? That's just a new STYLE HORIZON, no biggie), is not just a Hume Cronyn movie about oldies and aliens, it's also this one, hotly-anticipated series of bags and accessories. It's also totally confusingly uggo.

WTF

I love Karl. He is, as I've said many times before, my spirit animal. He is just LOUSY (the chockablock kind, not the bad kind) with talent/canny/l'esprit and I summon him (hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the north, I INVOKE THEE) when I have big decisions to make. That said, I am wicked bewildered at how plain these purses are. Especially the bucket-tote non-quilted ones (because, to be honest, as soon as they get HUMONGO, quilted and have a hilariously pedestrian function-I'm talking to you garment bag-they admittedly get a little cute).
OH GIRL

Am I missing something? Are these like, eco-friendly or something? Is my really pretty purse inside the homely one just aching to shuck the fug and fly on out? I can't stand the rain either and these Missy Elliott circa Supa Dupa Fly jams are not shutting it down for me. I'm sorry, when did Chanel start taking cues from (BAAAAAAAAAAARF) Moncler? Deuce-deuce in your bubble goose. Not the gun kind, the poo kind. I am deeply sadface about this.

UH WHAT?

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]]> LILY ALL INIt's September 30th, 2009 which, as you all know, is just three days shy of that life-altering moment we've all been waiting for: the release of the Cocoon by Chanel line. You know the one, it's got Lily "fake retiree" Allen in the campaign looking Audrey or Gabrielle or whatever gamine, doe-eyed/sloe-eyed, long-necked, 3/4 length everything, somethingsomethingmignonmignonDIAMONDS!

Cocoon, for those who remain completely ignorant of such very important, cataclysmic fashion tectonic plate shifts (Oh that? That's just a new STYLE HORIZON, no biggie), is not just a Hume Cronyn movie about oldies and aliens, it's also this one, hotly-anticipated series of bags and accessories. It's also totally confusingly uggo.

WTF

I love Karl. He is, as I've said many times before, my spirit animal. He is just LOUSY (the chockablock kind, not the bad kind) with talent/canny/l'esprit and I summon him (hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the north, I INVOKE THEE) when I have big decisions to make. That said, I am wicked bewildered at how plain these purses are. Especially the bucket-tote non-quilted ones (because, to be honest, as soon as they get HUMONGO, quilted and have a hilariously pedestrian function-I'm talking to you garment bag-they admittedly get a little cute).
OH GIRL

Am I missing something? Are these like, eco-friendly or something? Is my really pretty purse inside the homely one just aching to shuck the fug and fly on out? I can't stand the rain either and these Missy Elliott circa Supa Dupa Fly jams are not shutting it down for me. I'm sorry, when did Chanel start taking cues from (BAAAAAAAAAAARF) Moncler? Deuce-deuce in your bubble goose. Not the gun kind, the poo kind. I am deeply sadface about this.

UH WHAT?

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See more posts by Mary HK Choi

107 comments

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