Posts Tagged: Jolie Kerr
90

Movies Written or Directed by John Hughes, in Order

32. She's Having a Baby

31. Mr. Mom

30. Miracle on 34th Street

29. Home Alone 3

28. Nate and Hayes

27. Reach the Rock

26. Baby's Day Out

25. Just Visiting

24. National Lampoon's Class Reunion

63

169 Song Titles with Parentheticals (In Order of Parenthetical Charm)

169. He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)

168. Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)

167. This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)

166. Hemorrhage (In My Hands)

165. Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)

164. Truckdrivin’ Neighbors Downstairs (Yellow Sweat)

163. Money (That's What I Want)

162. (Flesh & Blood) Sacrifice

161. (Just Like) Starting Over

160. (Keep Feeling) Fascination

159. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

27

Thanksgiving Recipes: Boozehound Cranberry Sauce

As your correspondent on things that are Important in New England, I’d be negligent in my duties if I didn’t take the time to speak with you about the cranberry. Cranberries! Such New England-y little bitches! All tart and pucker-y! And this New England-y little bitch loves them. (This New England-y little bitch also knows several hundred things to do with them, but we don’t have much time here so we’ll keep it to one pretty easy and terribly impressive thing to do with them for the sake of this exercise.) And so it is with love and only the slightest bit of judgment about the fact that you’ve [...]

154

Half Baked: Lemon Squares

A confession: I don't particularly revere the lemon square. I actually don't think I'd ever even tried one until I made a batch out of curiosity after accidentally turning "lemon squares" into an Internet in-joke. I guess somewhere along the way I got the impression that the lemon square was seen as a childhood delicacy bestowed upon apple-cheeked ten-year olds who loved their stay-at-home moms, which was why I chose it as the quote-unquote peace offering during an era of terrible conflict.

I'm pretty sure I needn't tell you that I was not an apple-cheeked ten-year-old. But it's okay, because I'm pretty sure most of you weren't [...]

101

Half Baked, with Jolie Kerr: The Real Recipe for Pink Panty Pulldown Punch

With Valentine's Day nearly upon us, you may be looking for a lovely pink drink to serve your beloved.

This is not that drink.

This is the drink you make when you want to get your beloved utterly blotto on Valentine's Day (ANAL). But let's be honest, shall we? You won't be serving this to your paramour, you unlovable piece of shit, you'll be making it for the sad, sad SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE party you're desperately trying to convince yourself is exactly-EXACTLY! I'D HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY! ME? I'M SOOOOO GLAD I'M SINGLE!-how you want to be celebrating Valentine's Day.

22

These Lemon Muffins

It’s been pretty well established around these parts that I’m a crack baker—and modest to boot!—but there are times when I even amaze myself with a recipe and OHMYGOD THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES THESE LEMON MUFFINS YOU GUYS. These lemon muffins are a goddamned revelation, is what they are.

These lemon muffins are stupid easy, and stupid easy is one of my requirements for summer baking. Look, if I’m going to turn the oven on, I’m not going to futz around with forethought (AHEM SOFTENING THE BUTTER AHEM) nor with a whole bunch of dishes that need washing up, thanks. Also there will be no [...]

32

Happy Candlemas! Margarita Cupcakes with Tequila Shooter Toppers

If you are a person who is either an Anglophile or an ursinophile or both, you likely already know this: “In the United Kingdom, good weather at Candlemas is taken to indicate severe winter weather later: 'If Candlemas Day is clear and bright, / winter will have another bite. / If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain, / winter is gone and will not come again.' It is also alleged to be the date that bears emerge from hibernation to inspect the weather."

But you may not know that in Mexico, Candlemas, or Día de la Candelaria, is a family and religious holiday celebrated throughout [...]

60

How To Make Beef Stock

It's come to my attention that you've not been taught to make beef stock. I suppose if someone hadn't been so busy finding innovative ways to tag blog posts with "doody" and googling images of women in sports bras, you'd not have this egregious hole in your education, but alas. No website can be perfect-although, now it is.

62

Half Baked: Kentucky Derby Bourbon Balls!

Before I begin, let's get something out of the way before you all start howling "Dixie" in the comments: I'm not Southern. Not even close. But I do love bourbon and wearing fanciful hats designed to match colorful sundresses and sporting events that only take up three minutes of my actual time (three minutes? Is that correct, sporty ladies? Hoof over here and explain to your batty auntie how these horse races happen!) and therefore I go wild for the Kentucky Derby. And every year I get to trot out one of my signature recipes, which I would be tempted to describe as The Best Thing I Make [...]

34

52 Email Newsletters To Which You Can Subscribe

1. TimeToSignOff

2. Fantastic Man

3. Bark Talk

4. Jauntsetter

5-16. Etsy

17. Garden & Gun

18. King Arthur Flour

19. Tikkun

20. Rotary International

49

January Without Alcohol: Two Thirsty People Explain

Each new year, many Americans decide to turn over a new leaf. Gym memberships explode; diets are undertaken. The Whole Foods lays out the maple syrup and cayenne pepper, so a "master cleanse" can be undertaken. (Ugh.) Twelve-step programs and yoga centers see a surge in new members. And others embrace Drynuary: a month without alcohol. Here, midway through the month, two people assess what 19 days without booze has meant to them—with 12 more to go.

John Ore: So, Jolie, how's your Drynuary going so far?

Jolie Kerr: Well! By which I mean NOT AT ALL WELL. Sobriety is excruciating. Why are we doing this?

John: THINK [...]

139

What To Drink When The Weather Gets Warm

Summer: it turns me upside down. Summer, summer, summer: it's like a merry-go-round. It was true for Ric Ocasek many years ago and it's true for the rest of us today, because Monday is Memorial Day, so here comes summer!

"Summering. Drinking. Summering and drinking. For the prep, the two words are synonymous from Memorial Day to Labor Day." -Tipsy in Madras

Summer drinking is a fantastically elaborate endeavor among the set that uses "summer" as a verb-there are drinks you drink at the club (Southsides), drinks you drink while getting ready for Saturday evening charity balls (known as "dressers," they can be whatever you fancy, [...]

89

Half Baked: White People's Artichoke Dip

And now the second of our Super Bowl-applicable recipes!

Dear Jewish and/or poor friends-have you ever wondered what WASPs eat? Trick question. WASPs don't eat! They drink. But they do like to put food out and feign eating. There are three WASP foodstuffs for setting out and feigning eating, but the one I'm here to talk to you about today is mayonnaise. (The other two, cucumbers and shrimp, are only around because they're pink and green and cold, and WASPs like food created in their own image.)