It's remarkable that we've been doing this feature for over a year, and are only now cracking the weathered covers of Christina Crawford's masterpiece. When I say "weathered," I mean it: my copy is from 1980 and informs us that said book is "SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOVIE STARRING ANNE BANCROFT AS JOAN CRAWFORD." Some of you may have missed it, so let's review:

"…ANNE BANCROFT AS JOAN CRAWFORD."

What a world that would have been, no? Setting aside the question of how Ms. Bancroft would have tackled the role, can we address the hypothetical arc of Faye Dunaway's career had she never hacked up a rose [...]

"Among the most unusual things about How to Be Gay is that it is, at heart, a 500-plus-page work that explores a fundamental kind of gay sensibility by concentrating almost exclusively on one actress, Joan Crawford, and on a single scene in a single movie, the 1945 drama Mildred Pierce." —Man. Book publishing, what is the deal.