Orange County Register sports columnist Mark Whicker has apologized for the recent piece in which he tried to catch up Jaycee Dugard on all the important sports developments she missed during the 18 years she was held captive and repeatedly raped by the man who abducted her when she was 11 years old.

Of course I'm totally obsessed with the Jaycee Lee Dugard story, but I've been refusing to mention it because, I dunno, not really our editorial mission, such as it is, and also, how sad and gross is it that this freakish tabloid spectacle had to become a freakish tabloid spectacle. But now, like a sexual predator kidnapper, it has entered my backyard. Now Phillip Garrido, the father of the crazy child abductor, has realized that media outlets will pay to speak with him-so no more free interviews!