I have never heard of Mark Whicker. A quick search reveals nothing unusual, nothing that would indicate this to be some sort of clever prank at the expense of sports columnists or our culture at large. There is, of course, the small possibility that it is some kind of prank I am just not getting-it happens!-but in either case, it is one of the most bizarre things I've seen in some time. Not yet convinced? Here's how it opens.