Weird Mystery of the Day

Choire Sicha — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 16:20:44 +0000

Serious question: Why are there so many pictures of Janet Jackson on Marion Barry's facebook page? http://on.fb.me/g1wX6yTue Mar 15 19:30:06 via webAlanSuderman
AlanSuderman

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NFL Gives Viewers Good Reason For Super Bowl Halftime Bathroom Break

Maura Johnston — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 16:10:35 +0000

Good news: The NFL has reportedly decided to book a relatively current musical act for its halftime show for the first time since the Super Bowl XXXVIII Nipple Flash! Bad news: That act is apparently the exactingly safe hip-pop collective the Black Eyed Peas. Mitigating factor: Maybe this means we won't see will.i.am during every other commercial break? [Via]

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Robots Taking Over Sooner Than Expected--They Got Janet, Too!

Dave Bry — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:36:48 +0000

I'm starting to think that the singularity has already occurred and I just didn't notice it up to this point. Apparently, computer intelligence has already gotten more advanced that the human brain and figured out how to fuse itself with human cell tissue and that the robots are already reprogramming themselves and re-enhancing themselves and regenerating themselves-into today's leading hip-hop and R&B stars.

It should have been obvious, I guess, when all that autotune started making Hot 97's broadcast sound like one long conversation between HAL and C-3PO. But our carbon-based brains are simple, and usually require physical evidence to be convinced. Still, no one really noticed that Beyonce had a robot hand after she morphed into Sasha Fierce mode last year.

The, maybe a month ago, Chris Brown displayed his own prosthetic claw-piece, one that traveled higher up the arm.

When Lil Wayne and Swizz Beatz joined him in transforming into cybertronic Autobot sports cars and firetrucks in the video for the hit "I Can Transform Ya," I started to suspect something fishy was going on. Normal rappers and R&B stars can't turn into sports cars and fire trucks. The cover to 50 Cent's new album, Before I Self Destruct, makes it pretty apparent, too, as his synthetic outer layer cracks apart and melts away, revealing the titanium core within.

Now the lovable, sweet-voiced, former child star Janet Jackson has apparently disassembled and rebuilt herself as a bionic half-woman-half-machine with shiny, metal, six-million-dollar shoulder hinges-as evidenced by the snippet from the video to her new single, "Make Me."

We're totally dead.

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The Awl

Weird Mystery of the Day

NFL Gives Viewers Good Reason For Super Bowl Halftime Bathroom Break

Robots Taking Over Sooner Than Expected--They Got Janet, Too!