In her Huffington Post primer "How to Date an Indian (Advice for a Non-Indian)," Andrea Miller, the CEO of trusted relationship advice website YourTango, lays out a multitude of reasons as to why Indian folks-"innately gracious, social creatures"-make perfect spouses. Miller, you see, is married to a perfect hunk of brown male straight out of New Dehli, which thus gives her "pretty good perspective on the desirability of the people from the world's largest democracy-and how to woo them."

As an Indian person myself-one who has had the misfortune of stepping foot on the wretched land mass known as the Subcontinent on more than one occasion-I couldn't help but [...]