If you’re anything like me—a neon-blooded selfie-taking party slug with an APPetite for Disruption and Media Diets—you’re probably flailing in an ever-spinning maelstrom of opening and closing tabs, like, all the goddamn time. (While also struggling to maintain the appearance of being human!) One oft-encountered problem we NetLords run into as the tabs careen into our fat faces with a squawking, Hitchcockian fury, is whether or not we fall into the wide chasm of the term “millennial.” It’s a classification as broad as fellow alien Metta World Peace’s shoulders—Certified Journalists have calculated the birth year of millennials to fall anywhere between 1980 and 2000. So where on this fabricated, [...]
People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask.
Executed maybe 20 hugs last night. Bit of over-under weirdness. Couple of is-this-a-handshake-oh-it's-a-hug things. Minimal suffocation. B+
— Amanda Hess (@amandahess) October 23, 2013
Amanda! So what happened here? I recently wrote a story at Slate arguing that people should stop hugging each other all the goddamn time. A hug with a loved one is nice. But when we outstretch our gangly arms to just about everyone, it becomes an awkward, impersonal display, and even—in the case of power-huggers like Lady Gaga—a personal branding exercise. Some huggers saw [...]
Golf does not immediately reveal its econo aspect, particularly to the uninitiated. At first glance, it appears anti-econo, a game of privilege and exclusivity, intent on performing and re-performing its superiority and the artifice of its traditions. This, at least, is true at the upper levels of the game’s ruling class, where sponsorship decisions are made and the checks come with seven or eight zeroes. Self-seriousness in golf is not so much an affect as the engine of what goes on. Jim Nantz talking about the azaleas in April, with faux profundity and a gallery full of graying white men with hairless vertically-dominant calves that somehow still taper [...]
Elizabeth Wurtzel is writing a new book. You may have accidentally read some of it already. Her piece published on Thought Catalog earlier this month is an excerpt from it. The book is titled Yes because that is Elizabeth Wurtzel's favorite one-word sentence. She told us so last night, during her reading at "Addiction Literature," hosted by the No. 8 Literary Society at the bar No. 8, which is the descendant of Bungalow 8. The working subtitle of Wurtzel's book is "A History Of Love At First Sight In New York."
The excerpt—as it first appeared on Thought Catalog—is titled "Just That Way." It is about how she has [...]
Recently I was driving upstate to visit my brother Tom on the farm he lives and works on with other disabled people. Because I was by myself for the drive and it’s good to have something fun to listen to I made myself a mix of Elliott Smith songs. Why not! Even though it’s sad that Elliott Smith died at age 34 ten years ago today, his music wasn't all broken bottles in empty parking lots, stained floors, naked mattresses and irreversible damage.
This story begins, like so many before it, with a marathon session of “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.” Specifically, the show’s 1999 Halloween episode, “Episode LXXXI: The Phantom Menace.” (STTW has a real gift for prophecy.) Sabrina, played by Melissa Joan Hart, is a faux black sheep with a heart of gold; her manager (cum boyfriend cum soon-to-be-war-photographer) is as auspicious as he is handsome—which is a lot—but is also a bit dunderheaded. The setting: a Central Perk knockoff:
JOSH: Y’know, I’m really surprised our special pumpkin flavored coffee hasn’t been more popular.
SABRINA: Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that it’s a hideous shade [...]
It is twilight. You are living inside of a prism beam. You are slowly falling through a prism beam without worry and with a satiated stomach. All of your childhood pets are running toward you in slow motion and they are hungry for your love. Your favorite blanket is playing your favorite instrument on a bed of newly fallen autumn leaves. Insects do not exist and yet, the ecosystem remains beautifully balanced. Your boss who respects you very much enters your line of vision and unrolls a long scroll. She reads from the scroll. She reads all of your favorite words, slowly, then disintegrates and is [...]
50. Twisted Sister (H)
49. Tamar Braxton (H)Lyric Legend: M - “Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” used H – “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough” used M/W - Both used
48. John Denver & The Muppets (H)
47. Christina Aguilera (H/M)
46. Jessica Simpson (H)
45. Michael Bolton (H)
44. Neil Diamond (H)
43. Joe (H)
42. Clay Aiken (H)
41. Kelly Clarkson (H)
40. John Travolta & Olivia Newton John (H)
39. Captain & Tennille (H)
38. Scott Weiland (M)
37. Sufjan Stevens (H)
1. "Mr. Vollmann is 54, heterosexual and married with a daughter in high school. He began cross-dressing seriously about five years ago…. He said his wife, who is an oncologist, is not thrilled with his outré experiments and keeps her distance. 'Probably when the book comes out, it’ll be the first she’s heard of it,' he said. 'I always try to keep my wife and child out of what I do. I don’t want to cause them any embarrassment.' He asked that his wife not be interviewed for this article."
2. "We come from very mixed backgrounds. Kitten was raised Christian but is now Pagan. Doll is [...]
This past weekend, due to the end of Daylight Savings Time, many of us set our clocks ahead one hour, which proved to be foolish because apparently we were supposed to set them back one hour, but that is beside the point. What is important is that we, as a civilized society, embraced this change. We seized the opportunity to screw around with time. This is a good thing.
Some have recently argued against Daylight Savings Time, even going so far as to propose reducing the number of time zones in America to two from four1. I have a better plan. Instead of reducing the number of time [...]
#WhiteBoyWednesday—a thing that happens on Twitter!—brings many questions. How can you best enjoy white boys on Wednesday? We investigated.Can you pander and post selfies?
— Richie The C. (@JukeNuke_em) October 23, 2013
No.Actually… probably yes.
— LEGNA (@teamANGEL_) October 23, 2013Should you troll black men on #WhiteBoyWednesday?
— Swirl Love (@SwirLove) October 23, 2013
Publishers have always been cultural arbiters, and throughout publishing history they have used their power to harness the "classic" label—and its attendant packaging—to turn a profit. Bestowing classic status on a book has the effect of redefining a book’s history: sometimes prolonging its shelf life, sometimes uplifting it from the deep backlist. For some, this manhandling has eroded the potency of the word "classic" as a marker of timelessness, high aesthetics, or universality—words that are slippery and subject to intense debate.
New Yorkers, you might have surprised yourselves. This fall you've voted in one of the most liberal governments to City Hall of… maybe ever. Along with Bill de Blasio, primary voters also put forward a city council far more liberal than it already is. Every sitting member of City Hall’s Progressive Caucus (formed just three years ago) got re-elected, including Letitia James, who won the nomination for Public Advocate. Six out of the seven new candidates endorsed by the caucus won their primaries: Costa Constantinides in Astoria, Ben Kallos in the Upper East Side, Mark Levine in Upper Manhattan, Daneek Miller in Southeast Queens, former ACORN organizer Antonio Reynoso in [...]
On Monday, a movie-blog entrepreneur was tucking into a Toronto International Film Festival screening of a horror pic, when, to his actual horror, a fellow screenee was fiddling with his or her cell phone. Alex Billington went straight to film fest officials to complain.
They also claim that I am the only one who has ever complained about cell phone use at TIFF. So it's now a major campaign to take action.
— Alex Billington (@firstshowing) September 9, 2013
The major campaign undertaken by Billington was a call to 911. It was a short campaign, as “the dispatcher laughed" at him, although Billington said that his [...]
The story of civil aviation is told in sequences of numbers—flights, models of aircraft, hydraulic fluid designations. Famous accidents become known by their flight numbers—Eastern 401, Air India 182, Wayfarer 515. Like the full names of serial killers or executed persons, this is the official mnemonic way to record this data. Categories of planes are distinguishable by number(s): the Airbus A-320, the Boeing 747-300, now the Boeing 747-8. If you wanted to superstitiously/erroneously avoid planes with recent crash records, you would already know what the Boeing 737-200's been up to this century–more like down to. Because the elevators and ailerons of a modern aircraft are too [...]
Every time I am silent or seemingly thinking or chewing or barely breathing and unoccupied what I’m really doing is praying fervently that our country devotes itself to dendrolatry and muck our polished patellae in a worshipper’s kneel unto Trees. And where does the Holiday Axe factor into this religion? I’ve always felt like Woolf’s Septimus, felt that they “beckoned; leaves were alive; trees were alive. And the leaves being connected by millions of fibres with [my] own body….” So this morning as the vile Vargoshe family hauled the cut carcass of a 12-ton Norway spruce like a bloodied buck on the roof of [...]
A tall man with a boy’s face stood outside Philz, a $$-on-Yelp coffee shop with a branch in the Tenderloin. He approached the sleek pre-yuppies going in and out and said, “Excuse me?”
He was white and young and fairly clean—nothing like the bums they’d ignored all day—so many stopped. When he then asked for change, they would duck and weave into the AC’d haven of $4 coffee with fresh mint sprigs. (The nice ones stumbled over an apology.) He moved on.
This Philz (a Bay Area chain) is on Van Ness and Turk, a block from Polk Street and its famous gay and transgender prostitutes. It backs up to [...]
The PRConsultants Group (slogan: "National Strength. Local Power.") has declared October 22nd to be "Snark Free Day." We emailed with the members behind the endeavor—Atlanta-based restaurant publicist Melissa Libby, of Melissa Libby & Associates, and Louisville-based Nicole Candler, of Nic Creative—about their hopes and dreams for the national discourse.
What started all this? Nicole Candler: The idea developed out of a discussion among our PRCG Directors. Melissa and some others were commenting on how ugly online communication has become and the role that PR consultants must play in helping clients prevent it, monitor it and respond (or not respond) to it.
Melissa Libby: It kind of [...]
A day and a half after meeting at Moose’s Saloon, Jude and I boarded a raft with his pit bull and began floating down the north fork of the Flathead River.
He called himself a mountain man, and was eager to guide a city girl on life in the outdoors.
“We’re going down the river, going to have a Montana adventure today… because we’re craaaZAY!” he sang loudly, as other people sailed by.
I hadn’t showered in three days because I was sleeping in the car to save money, but Jude didn’t seem to care. Neither did his dog, who kept leaping into my lap. Jude grinned, turned up some [...]
Letters to the editor have always been the first thing I read in a magazine, and in 2006, I had my own letter published in New York. It was about Will Shortz, and I thought it was sort of clever, and it made me happy. But even so, I often find myself wondering about others who write in to the editor: Who are these people?
I understand why a doctor would write a letter to the Atlantic about, say, the role of fast food in public health. And I understand why a young woman would write to New York with a trying-to-be-pithy observation about a crossword puzzle, I [...]