So two ice cream truck guys got into an altercation? What happened, Daily News? "Mister Softee brought a sugar cone to a knife fight." Ah, so one of them brandished a blade. When were they seized by authorities? "[A]fter getting their licks in." Was the constabulary able to prevent serious injury? "Cops arrived before either man was seriously creamed". What will happen to them next? "They face a rocky road, with charges pending." Sadly, nobody sang the Mister Softee jingle, which would have been quite appropriate in this case, but either way this is some top-notch work by the local tab, and I commend [...]
"Welcome to the historic centre of Rome, in the year 2013. It was here at the top of Via della Vite, just off Piazza di Spagna, that four holidaymakers from Birmingham nearing the end of their six-day trip to Rome bought the ice creams with the nasty after-taste. Four 'wrap-around' cones 'with two wafers and three flavours' cost €16 each for a total of €64." —I dunno, I might pay $20 for an ice cream if it meant I was eating it in Rome. I mean, probably not, that's just crazy, but in the scheme of things there are a lot of less palatable options.
They call me “Two Soups.” Sometimes. And by “they,” I mostly mean one person. "They" call me this because I sometimes order two soups for lunch. Like, instead of “soup and a sandwich,” or “soup and a salad,” I’ll have soup and another soup. A different soup. I like soup that much. (I could perhaps marry Jennifer Coolidge in Best In Show and sit with her and eat soup and talk or not talk. She’d prefer the latter, I would bet.)
I’m thinking of having two soups for lunch today, in fact. This time of year, when the weather turns cold, this type of day, rainy and gray, [...]
"If your favorite flavor is Vanilla, you’re more likely to be impulsive and an idealist. Chocoholics are dramatic and flirtatious, while Rocky Road lovers are good listeners. Praline ‘n Cream fans are loving and supportive. Don’t say anything bad about Mint Chocolate Chip to those fans, because they tend to be argumentative."
Old fashioned people may continue to argue "public vs. private," but here in the actual future, the world's richest people have solemnly taken on the task of solving our lucrative problems. At this moment, a rocket launched by space industrialist Elon Musk is bringing ice cream to the sad astronauts aboard the faltering International Space Station. NASA would've probably sent freeze-dried "pink slime" to the ISS, if the welfare-state space agency still knew how to launch rockets.
Ugh, so this whole time I have been walking around thinking the words to the Mister Softee jingle went like this:
I am the fucking ice cream man, the man who sells the ice cream I am the fucking ice cream man, I sell you fucking ice cream You want some fucking ice cream? Well, I'll tell you what to do Come by my fucking ice cream truck, I'll sell that shit to you I am the fucking ice cream man, the man who sells the ice cream I am the fucking ice cream man, I sell you fucking ice cream Bitch shit cock piss dick ass balls, fucking [...]
Part of a series: Two choices—which do you choose?
Ice cream is way more fun to eat in the summer, especially if you like to go to places where they serve it to you in a cup or cone, because it’s like, a very American Summer kinda activity, hitting the ice cream place for something cold and sweet and bad for you, and in the summer, more than the other seasonals, the mere act of Hey I’m Going To Get Some Ice Cream, or Hey Let’s Go Get Some Ice Cream becomes a Social and Cultural Event, because you are gonna go to a place where lotsa other Peoples [...]