Posts tagged as I Know

A quick note on how math and business works, regarding this: "Singer Jessica Simpson is on the fast track to becoming a fashion billionaire—her various clothing and beauty ventures have racked up a huge $750 million in sales in the last year alone." Uh? "It’s hard to believe that Jessica Simpson is in fact a fashion powerhouse, sitting at the helm of a nearly $1 billion empire." It is! Although to be fair to the reporters of WWD, it is fascinating that of all the celebrities who tried to cash in on fragrances and sunglasses, she's the success. But yet one of the things about businesses is that they have "costs," "profits" and some things called "net" and "gross"? And also? It's not her company? So like, basically, do not be alarmed, tiny, tiny little-person Jessica Simpson is not a billionaire and that in any event this putative "billion dollars" (which is not a billion dollars) is from products made by companies (companies that also perpetrate the nightmare that is Tory Burch!) nested within companies to which she licensed her name for fees plus a few points.

Culture and TV

Liveblogging the Friskies "Adventureland" Commercial

Liz Colville | February 22, 2010

0:01 OK this is
0:02 reasonable enough.
0:03 This looks
0:04 familiar.
0:05 Wait those streamer things
0:06 kind of remind me of a
0:07 Pantene ad. Like illustrating
0:08 the magic of hair chemicals/cat food.
0:09 Now this is like The Lion, The Witch and
0:10 The
0:11 Wardrobe,
0:12 where a weird mirror
0:13 floating in space
0:14 equals wardrobe.
0:15 OK this is just UNFAIR.
0:16 NO CAT
0:17 experiences this kind of
0:18 ecstasy not even
0:19 on CATNIP. The
0:20 animation is atrocious. Those
0:21 turkeys are like something
0:22 from a computer game from 1997. Nanosaur!
0:23 What are the turkeys so
0:24 happy about? He is going to eat
0:25 them! This singing is like
0:26 a backing track on that sellout
0:27 Liz Phair album.
0:28 Don't fall off the
0:29 cliff!!!!!!!! Damn, cats are agile.
0:30 Is that a litter? As in the thing
0:31 that someone rich sits in while minions
0:32 carry it and walk? Oh no, it's a boat.
0:33 Cats hate water! Thank god for pirate ships!
0:34 The cat is meowing as if to say
0:35 "Where the fuck am I?!?!? I want to
0:36 go hooooooooooooooome.
0:37 REOW."
0:38 OK safely in pirate ship.
0:39 Failing to catch any fish because fish are computer-animated.
0:40 Not actually looking directly at fish
0:41 because fish have been fake CG'd into this
0:42 lucy-in-the-sky-with-fishes world.
0:43 Oh yeah,
0:44 OF COURSE SOME RARE ENDANGERED
0:45 PHEASANTS ARE GOING TO ROLL DOWN
0:46 A RED CARPET FOR YOU. OBVIOUSLY.
0:47 (THEY MIGHT JUST BE TURKEYS.)
0:48 Okay now there's an entire drum circle
0:49 of prey.
0:50 Oh but
0:51 maybe they are dancing in a farewell
0:52 like get the fuck out of here
0:53 don't eat us! We'll be nice to you if you
0:54 don't eat us!
0:55 There he/she goes. Wait did he just
0:56 come out of the washing machine?
0:57 Yes the reality is that you are just
0:58 eating 99-cent horse meat.
0:59 SORRY ABOUT THAT,
0:60 MEOWIEKINS. READ MORE