We have not been paying attention to the Trump SoHo hotel-condominium (WHICH IS BUILT ON A GRAVEYARD), unlike some people who are crazed about it, but I finally looked at the floorplans, because it opens in February? They're terrible! First of all, the non-penthouse condos top out at like 700 square feet, and most are like 450 square feet? But really: if you're going to buy a condo-ized hotel room (which you can only occupy for 120 days a year, max, and, um, no thanks), wouldn't you want an extra closet instead of 1.5 baths? One of the units has a "secure owner's closet," but the rest, not much. Thing is, you know, you'd want to keep some of your New York clothes at your own hotel room, obviously, when you wanted to swoop in high and hot from Bahrain or Burma! Good grief.

Beyond the drama of the big numbers, here's a helpful explanation of what happened to the W Union Square Hotel, which had a fun and dramatic foreclosure auction yesterday. (Union Square! Such carnage, all around!) "Basically, Dubai World (or its investment arm, Istithmar) paid $282 million in total for the hotel, and took out a $115 million mortgage. Istithmar put down $50 million of its own money, and borrowed the rest in what's known as a 'mezzanine' transaction: $117 million of high-yielding debt which isn't secured against the property.... Lots of people are extremely worried about commercial real estate at the moment, saying that it's the next shoe to drop. But a $240 million valuation still works out at almost $800,000 per room, which is still a lot of money for a hotel which no one likes very much." Amen to that.

While New York City hotel room rates are back up in general, the always-odd Gershwin Hotel (half hostel, half hotel) has a new promotion. A promotion that is very beneficial to you if you are very old. Actually there is probably a good chance of lawsuit on this one but we still enjoy it.

Now you can spend $200 a night at a New York City hotel that is all dressed up to look like some hipster's dirty dorm room.