Where do you go if you want the traffics and the attention? Straight into the bosom of Jesus! The New Yorker today publishes (subscription-only!) a profile of Lynn Vincent, the best-selling bookwriter that you don't know. She wrote Heaven is Real (oh actually called HEAVEN IS FOR REAL), which has sold more than seven million copies. (And also Sarah Palin's book!) That is eerie, because the cover of Newsweek this week is also headlined "Heaven Is Real." That is some world-class SEO trolling, Tina Brown's Newsweek. But the problem is, the story told in Newsweek by a doctor about going to heaven and coming back does not match up [...]

The National Conference of the American Copy Editors Society has announced its headline contest winners and it is now clear who is destroying the media. Among the many talented, hard-working winners—and you know we love our copy editors!—we find a batch of puns so foul, so egregious, that it's difficult to not feel pranked.

First place for individuals at newspapers with circulation under 80,001 goes to a staffer at the Wichita Eagle, whose winning entries include this… one.

The tendency will probably be to focus on the fact that old women can't have babies, but I think the real takeaway here is that you can still look pretty even into your forties. So cheer up, crones!

"A man on a flight from Paris to Atlanta has been charged in federal court with sexually assaulting a passenger and then karate chopping a federal sky Marshall who came to detain him." —There are direct flights from Paris to Atlanta??? Who knew? What's next, Kuala Lumpur to Sacramento?

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dear @aol, we did not give you permission to rip our video off of YouTube, remove our credit, and put it on aol.comWed Feb 02 20:31:06 via webImprov EverywhereImprovEvery

Netiquette! This is how to use someone's video. And yes, this is how to get busted for stealing someone's video.

Phil Corbett, the latest standards editor at the Times (maybe the greatest job in the world?), has issued a proclamation! Yesterday, the following memo went out, asking writers to abstain from the invented past-tense and other weird iterations of the magical noun-verb "Twitter." His case isn't terrible, actually-and he offers this terrifying vision: "Someday, 'tweet' may be as common as 'e-mail.'" Oh dear. Well, read for yourself and decide.

Last week we talked about celebrating the sacrifice of money and sweat in the process of creating something horrible-sort of the end of camp, in this age when everything pleasurable is good, even if it is very bad? (Maybe the actual death of irony, ten years late???) Now comes the official celebration party for Troll 2, pretty much officially the worst movie ever made. Writes Wired: "And unlike the winking reverie that greeted Snakes on a Plane, the affection for Troll 2 wasn't the result of studio marketing; it was born of the Internet's sincere (or at least ironically sincere) appetite for undiscovered crap – and the [...]

"After being ejected from the Zoo, and then the park altogether, anti-Semitic Elmo was taken away in an ambulance for psychiatric observation."

So this finally happened: "A popular 'meat-market' smartphone app that spawned a sexual revolution in Australia's gay community has been compromised by a Sydney hacker, potentially exposing intimate personal chats, explicit photos and private information of users." Ta da! But wait, there's more: "A security expert who did not wish to be named… said that the Grindr and Blendr apps 'had no real security.'" The modern age is fun where we just trust all our data and naked pictures to anyone who makes an app!

Oh, no. Coming in September to Bloomberg TV (I think that's channel 547803 in New York?), it's TechStars! A TV show based on the entrepreneurial mentorship bootcamp program! This is formatted as a reality show, and was shot at TechStars' last three-month incubator program in New York. It's all about winning that big check for your hot startup, just like in real life. (Ha.) But it's not just about tech! It's about stars too! Because money = fame, and fame = money, and both of those = validation. This all fits into my theory that the current bubble is more of an emotional bubble, not actually an economic bubble. [...]

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BREAKING Al Arabiya: Reports that Muammar Gaddafi will be delivering an address on TV soon #Libyaless than a minute ago via webSultan Al QassemiSultanAlQassemi

Rumors on the Internets suggest that Gaddafi is going to take to the TV soon with a speech. Maybe he's going to apologize for everything! (No?)

And you can download the mix here. The new album is out today in the UK; the whole thing can be heard here.

Oh, guess what exists? TOM SCOCCA, THE SLATE BLOG. Come for the logo of the hobbyhorse, stay for the way his child makes fun of Mickey Kaus! Surely there will be recipes too.

Well, this piece by Scientific American's Jesse Bering went up last week and I don't know how we missed it til now. (I was alerted to it by Ryan Sager's Neuroworld page at True/Slant.) If you haven't yet, you should read it: it's about bestiality and it's great!

Here is what is apparently a Chinese reporter planting a Chinese flag on some bit of disputed land in the massive South China Sea territory. Here is a Chinese hacker "planting" a Chinese flag on the website of the Philippines News Agency. Here are tit-for-tat pictures of people burning China's flag and people burning the flag of the Philippines. I would suggest to the Philippines that neighbors that have land disputes with China often end up in unhappy situations.

Also did you know that in 1951 we signed the "Mutual Defense Treaty Between the Republic of the Philippines and the United States of America"? It's [...]

Ha ha, here's the greatest picture of the end of the Iraq War, by Al-Jazeera's Gregg Carlstrom: the assigned seats at the "Yay The Iraq War Is Over" ceremony also informed attendees in which bunker they should take shelter, in case they were all bombed or shot at or whatever. Enjoy your war zone with no war (sort of)!

This "Warning: Terrence Malick Film!" sign, published by Next Projection (and, update! Apparently actually photographed by reporter Joe Meyers, which, should it really be that hard to find and give credit on the Internet people? Sheesh!) was posted for movie-goers at the Avon, in Stamford, CT. What's to even say? Do people really ask for their movie-ticket money back because… they were bored? Another reason to despise Connecticut. (via)

Mansplainer, for Men: What Is and Isn't OK to Say About the Lara Logan Story.

You know how we like to make fun of finance pages for always saying "stocks are down because of [X random thing]"? Well this time, it's true! The GS plunge started because of the SEC referral to the Justice Dept., and continued on news that the Manhattan U.S. attorney's office has been investigating for ages. Everyone out of the pool! Everyone's got political points to score (and maybe someone will actually come up with a case!).