Shut up about Brooklyn already. We all know about Brooklyn, that shining city on the hill, where everything is made only of awesome. Yes, there are beards and clunky eyeglass frames and lawyers who skateboard and grandpas with noise bands. The hipsters run-off freely now, the cheesecake is largely appareled American and vice now has a market cap. There's even a successful sitcom that purports to be set there, which is as large a cultural signifier as anything—Brooklyn may be located on the western-most tip of Long Island, but where it actually lives is dead solid in the middle of the zeitgeist. It's now, it's hip, it's hot, it's happening. [...]

Dear Jon Stewart,

I was totally psyched to learn yesterday that you have bought a house in Red Bank, New Jersey, which is the town next to the town where I grew up-Little Silver, New Jersey. In fact, I went to Red Bank Regional High School, which, confusingly, is located in Little Silver. I don't get back there so often since my mom moved away and I know the place has changed a lot. (So faaaaaancy, as Tony Soprano's mom would say.) But as a way of welcoming you to this part of the world, I thought I might offer you some recommendations, sort of an area guide, [...]