Oh yes: this is the story that has it all, baby: Four Loko, insurance scams, foreclosures, a retired ladies detective club, RICO complaints, fake absentee ballots, the FBI, Las Vegas, offshore bank accounts and actual broken kneecaps. Stick with it, it gets crazier and crazier.

Now this is how it's done, kids! "Blogging will be relatively light for the next six days as the Key West Business Guild is bringing me down on a press junket to cover Fantasy Fest.... Full disclosure: The Guild is paying for our airfare, lodging, meals, excursions-the whole shebang. Fuller disclosure: I'm completely open to similar offers from the cities of Rio de Janeiro, Barcelona, Mykonos, Sitges...." I didn't even know where Sitges was, I had to Google it!

Tonight is an Awl columnist's art opening, at the Morrison Hotel Gallery on the Bowery. Look how sleepy he looks in that picture! He was up very late working on something special. There's a book signing and an auction that benefits Housing Works, all between the hours of 6 and 8, at 313 Bowery,and also: fun.

Oh, this is a wonderful account of the meeting held by the Council of Fashion Designers of America, which is a governing body in a similar way that any burlap bag of drowning cats competing for air and light is as well. Anna Wintour would like America to overhaul a rather immense group of laws so that we might become France; Andre Leon Talley is lotioning up; and pretty much everyone else is out of ideas. Pretty much this is the greatest thing ever written, and we are sorry that the fashion industry is donezo.

The Citigroup annual shareholders meeting today, which I am blowing off, because I can't face the fact that I own such a piece of shit stock, is a crazy show, as one would expect. So far, a nun has yelled at people and the crowd has booed former chairman Robert Rubin. Keep up with the live blog here, it's a good time. Update! From the audience: "Where have you guys been? Where's the board been?? Bernie Madoff could've done a better job." Ha ha ha!