"It's not true," says South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's spokesman. The governor is not "missing." Though, as everyone is hilariously enjoying, his wife doesn't know where he is, and he skipped out of Father's Day with the kids. So now his spokesman is saying: "Gov. Sanford is taking some time away from the office this week to recharge after the stimulus battle and the legislative session and to work on a couple of projects that have fallen by the wayside." The "stimulus battle" being that thing where the governor refused to take federal money, except when he did. Though he is not crazy that it is a good idea to pay down debt! Even if that is just because he is listening to that communist lesbian Suze Orman.

"In the mid-90s, there was a magical drink that beamed in from the future called Orbitz."