Potential American president Rick Santorum isn't even pretending to make sense anymore: "When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights, then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is the government that gives you right, what’s left are no unalienable rights, what’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the guillotine."

I don't know why but people have been talking about this Tumblr that started last month, called To My Wife, which is all little things allegedly written by a guy for his allegedly future wife, things like, "I hope you like pancakes, because I’ll be making them. Happy Birthday." Haha, I know. (Mostly I think: hope you enjoy your first wife as quickly as you can, pal, because you're someone who needs to move on to a second one pretty fast. Because: "My Soap: Please, for the love of god, my bar of soap is my bar of soap." What? Is this a thing that happens in marriages [...]

"S.E.O. is a way for your website to manipulate and seduce search engines into wanting them, kind of like the tricks in Neil Strauss' The Game, but with Google replacing party girls." -Understanding the Internet.

Everyone is pretty aghast and/or in stitches over today's weird and kinda embarrassing escapade by the New York Times public editor, Arthur Brisbane: "I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge 'facts' that are asserted by newsmakers they write about." Not just when; whether! A list of people currently making fun of this runs from editors of city papers to New Yorker correspondents to totally random unemployed people to… well, the Times staffers are all sitting on their hands right now. GOSH, HOW THAT MUST BURN.

How does this argument even go, anyway? PRO: Sure! Let the record reflect whatever [...]

Things that make you want to say, yes, yes, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!

The Internet really is getting stupider. The gals over at Racked had to explain to their outraged commenters that their 5-year-old fashion week correspondent was kind of a parody of the very real weird teen blogger fashion world mania. Their commenters actually went a little nuts: "Can we please have bloggers and editorials by grown ups, real editors, with actual jobs, and, gasp, life experience. Maybe women and men? Over 20 years old? PLEASE?" AND! "I guess your blog cant pay enough to hire an adult writer to blog abt fashion week. I wont be visiting your site again." At least the 5-year-old was using apostrophes?

"He's the anchor baby of an activist Arab muslim who came to the U.S. on a student visa and had a child out of wedlock. He's a non-Christian, arugula-eating, drug-using follower of unabashedly old-fashioned liberal teachings from the hippies and folk music stars of the 60s." —This description of Steve Jobs even omits "college dropout"!

"[Minnesota] Republican gubernatorial candidate Rep. Tom Emmer said the state could gain jobs if employers could a pay a lower hourly wage to employees who earn a lot of money from tips." -Sure. It's a plan?

A historian of recent presidential Thanksgiving proclamations finds Barack Obama's maiden effort wanting.