"Hans Riegel, the man behind Germany's Haribo confectionery and much-loved gummy bears, has died aged 90 from heart failure, his office said on Tuesday. Riegel spent almost 70 years at the helm of Haribo, which was founded by his candymaker father in 1920. From a small firm struggling with the shortages of post-war Germany, he built it into a world famous brand exporting to 100 countries." —You know who's gonna be sad about this? I mean, his family and his employees, obviously. But also this [...]
My favorite item in The Daily Beast's look at plastic surgeries that are so idiotic out-there that they make me ache all over when I read about them (seriously, iris implants?): Gummy bear breast implants. No, they don't affect the flavor of the implantee's nipples. (Sorry. On the bright side, I'm sure someone's working on that innovation as I type this!) Instead: "Cohesive silicone gel implants, nicknamed 'gummy bear' implants, are fake breasts that can more easily be molded to form the natural teardrop shape of women's breasts… [T]heir texture and consistency is similar to that of the sweet treat." Natural fakeness! But can you order them in [...]
Earlier today, a brand manager complained about the portrayal of Gummi Bears in the media. He claimed that you were actually warm and comforting. The fuck we are. What jackass said that?
John Leonardo of Trolli. Trolli? Not for nothin', I can't be too shocked about that. Those Trolli bears, they're a little soft in the center, if ya know what I mean.
I'm not sure that I do.