I mean, just look at him. Why WOULDN'T you eat whatever was in this little mogwai's belly? You know it's going to be amazing. And sweet! And just this once devoid of petrified baby fish complete with tiny skeletons and the beady eyeballs that you run the risk of meeting when you cop an Asian Bag o' Snack that you're unfamiliar with. READ MORE

We are pleased to present you with a classic edition of our Gluttony column, which originated in the English gentleman's broadsheet The Daily Awl and Crescent. While records of the column's date were destroyed during a bombing raid in the war, historians estimate that this piece was written at some point during the second decade of the twentieth century. Lord Featherstonehaugh, who regularly composed the Gluttony column for the paper, perished in a bizarre shooting party accident in 1937. READ MORE

Pepsi has just announced their new limited-edition flavor: Azuki! Which is red bean. Which, unless you're all, "I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER?" at every non-white people restaurant, you'll know is considered a sweet in Asia. We add a gang of sugar to the legume (LIKE ANIMALS) and eat it in desserts like popsicles, donuts, and cheesecake (LIKE ANIMALS). [Random sidebar: Koreans also treat tomatoes like a fruit and toss 'em in ice cream sundaes like cherries. I fully consider this to be some hardcore, mayonnaise-on-your-pizza, confounding freakshow stuff. ANIMALS.] READ MORE

Here are the best kind of bags of salt & vinegar chips in the whole wide world. No big deal. They're made by the Inventure Group, the dudes who bring us vacuum-packed bits of magic like Burger King French fries with condiment chips and those TGIF-branded tater skins and quesadillas that are less food and more like drawings of food. READ MORE

Last week's terribly important discussion of the US junkfood industry's consistently laughable attempts at strawberry flavorings resulted in one or two name drops of Glico's Pocky in the comments section by people up on their game. Pocky, for those who don't know, is a really thin, long biscuit stick far spindlier in diameter than a Grissini (those prepackaged breadsticks) but not dissimilar in texture/pallor and dipped in chocolate. READ MORE

Despite people in the Awl offices FRONTING on these hard, and the movie tie-in on the packaging (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) being demoralizingly bad, these were not nearly as abysmal as the U.S. snackfood industry typically does strawberry. Strawberry Whoppers? Garbage. Strawberry Milkshake Double Stuffed Oreos? Chalky horrorfest. Basically what Hello Kitty's bones would taste like if you ground them with a pestle and mortar. READ MORE

Do not eat: SnackMaster All Natural Gourmet Ahi Tuna Jerky. READ MORE

Do not drink: Cîroc.
Because: Its spokesman, AKA Sean Combs, AKA Diddy, AKA King Combs, AKA Cîroc Obama*, AKA Ptwitty needs to dial it way down. Also, it's made from French white grapes and that just feels racial.
Do drink: Nuvo.
Because: It's hilarious.

It's a 15% alcohol blend of ultra-premium vodka and stone fruits that's Susan G. Komen pink, tastes like bubble-gum (the pederastic elements alone are a RIOT) and peddled in a lipstick-shaped glass obelisk that has the purposeless heft of a sculpture commissioned by the We Television for Women Awards. It's vodka and it sparkles. READ MORE

Mary HK Choi, our guide to the world of consumer goods, explains which bacon-flavored treats are the right ones. READ MORE