Hasbro Wants Children (For War and Cheap Labor) @1:11 PM
From to time to time, a friend and I play the "Worst Press Release of the Day" game. Well, we have a winner today! It involves Dennis Quaid and Hasbro and the Marines and how for a shocking two-week long period, for every GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA toy you buy then, they will also donate one of these garbage toys to some small and poor child whose only hope of a future job is to… join the Marines! Or work in some overseas Hasbro plastic toy company. READ MORE 37
Flicked Off: G.I. Joe @12:00 PM
GI Joe is a movie about an ugly girl who is mechanically brainwashed to hate her dumb boyfriend. The ugly girl is played by a former model. The dumb boyfriend is sooo dumb. She is brain-washed by a snooty downtown actor named Joseph Gordon Levitt who used to have a huge art-school hipster attitude and I wonder if he still can pull that off after appearing in this sweating trash heap of a dirty catbox of a movie. This film made me yearn for the forthcoming masterpiece called Viewmaster. But most importantly, beyond issues such as the Speed Racer level of characterization, what happened to Sienna Miller's face? She looks like a bloated, patchy, puffy, rubberized, unhappy version of Demi Moore, who has almost exactly two decades on her. Does the expensive CGI not work on lady-face? The one thing she is supposed to do in this movie is look hot while she shoots guns. She cannot. READ MORE 20
'G.I. Joe' Will Come To Audiences Fresh @3:25 PM
Paramount has declined to screen G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for critics in advance of the film's Friday release date. The studio says "it's intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles," and it doesn't want critical perceptions of director Stephen Sommers' powerful meditation on the tragic costs of war for one infantryman whose struggles with post-traumatic stress syndrome are exacerbated by his loss of health insurance to frighten away audiences who might worry that the movie is too dark. 13
