"A number of large crabs escaped from a box on a German train and not all have been found, police said on Tuesday."
"On an aesthetic level, the uniforms haven't been nearly as warmly received as on a political one. Although Germany's Olympic athletes have spoken out in support of them — snowboarder Konstantin Schad told the daily Die Welt 'they look impressive' — the reaction on Twitter and elsewhere has been mostly negative. One Twitter user described it as a misguided homage to Apple's new iOS7 operating system, while Die Tageszeitung was more harsh: 'If this had been meant as a political protest, then it would have been okay, but if it's just a "fashionable jacket," and on top of that, a butt-ugly one?'" —Are Germany's Olympic uniforms pro-gay?
"Even at night, the Bavarian village of Irsee isn't able to settle down. The town's mayor, Andreas Lieb, was at the nearby lake Oggenrieder Weiher on Tuesday evening when he came across four people busily working away in the darkness. Lieb promptly asked the unwanted guests to leave. 'They were pros,' says Lieb, adding that they were equipped with high-powered flashlights and protective clothing. The night-time visitors were attracted to the lake due to an incident that occurred there last week: An eight-year-old boy's Achilles tendon was severed while playing in the water — and experts believe that the injury was caused by an [...]
Hello, would you like to buy something weird? Hammer Time is our guide to things that are for sale at auction: fantastic, consequential and freakishly grotesque archival treasures that appear in public for just a brief moment, most likely never to be seen again.
On February 28, 1933, the Reichstag Fire Decree gave Adolf Hitler the emergency powers he needed to suspend civil liberties, and the Nazi party wasted no time targeting political opponents.1
Carl von Ossietzky was arrested by the special police that very morning. It was not the first time the editor-in-chief of Die Weltbühne (The World Stage), the voice of leftist intellectuals, had been in a [...]
"I did not learn to cook, either. Instead I have become a superior dinner guest. I am wonderful to have at your side while you cook, particularly if you give me a glass of wine, and also to have sit at your table, because I will appreciate your food in a deep, emotional and highly verbal way." —Awl pal Jami Attenberg reminds us that the key ingredient in chicken noodle soup is "guilt." In other news, her wonderful novel The Middlesteins has been picked up by German publishing company Schoffling & Co. It's fun to imagine the conversations at the office about how to handle the retitling of [...]
"The German Herald reports that men serving in the elite Wachbataillon unit of the German army are developing breasts on their left pectorals. A doctor who is treating the men says that their trademark close-order drill is at fault, as it has the men repeatedly, violently slamming their guns into the left side of their chest, stimulating mammary growth."
"For weeks, experts have been trying to determine whether a mysterious mummy found by a German boy in his grandmother's attic is authentic. The answer appears to be: yes and no. It has a real human skull, but a plastic skeleton, the news agency DPA reported Wednesday."
"Call it linguistic precision engineering. The German language permits the creation of words of endless length, many of which refer to laws. Now the country has lost its longest official word following the repeal of a complex law regarding mad cow disease — and is seeking a new one." —What are the Germans going to do now that 'Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz' is no longer an acceptable word? And what did 'Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz' even mean? As the article goes on to explain, 'Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz' can be loosely translated as 'the strange condition in which, due to skin tone or softness of features, a person somehow appears to have been Photoshopped into a picture no [...]
Two friends of mine of got in an argument once while they were on mushrooms about which of them liked weather more. It went on for hours, which surely felt like days or months at the time. And, in fact, feels like an eternity to some people who know them and still have to hear about it now, decades later. Safe to assume, though, that neither of them likes weather as much as "weather enthusiast and photographer" Martin Rietze, who took this time lapse video from sunset to sunrise atop Germany's tallest mountain, the Zugspitze. The music that accompanies it makes you feel like you're in a spa [...]
"Newspaper headlines have reflected the desperation of many depressed German residents, lamenting 'Where Is Spring?' and 'When Will Winter Finally End?'"
"The forests of Europe are a gold mine of gourmet mushrooms, and professional foragers are breaking laws to get their hands on them. Four of them tried to run over a forestry worker last week in Germany, where mushroom-madness is widespread." There are photos, but they are just of mushrooms, so really you should only click through if you want to read more of the story.
"Volkan T., the bodybuilder who partied in his underpants on an empty government jet used by Chancellor Angela Merkel, was found sleeping in her bed when police finally entered the plane to get him off, Germany's Bild newspaper reported on Tuesday."
"A former neighbor of the main defendant in the trial of Germany's murderous neo-Nazi terrorist cell has described her as a friendly woman who would stop by for drinks and even once brought a pizza." But also: "In response to a question by the presiding judge, however, the witness admitted that a picture of Adolf Hitler had stood on his television in his basement. But he claimed it had no political meaning and was merely a remembrance of a neighbor who had died."
Do you have the (perfectly reasonable) fear of dentistry that makes any mentions thereof a terrifying and unpleasant intrusion on your psyche and well-being? If so, I would advise you to steer clear of the Internet for the rest of the day, because there is a very disturbing story out there you will find it best to avoid. The rest of you sick bastards can click here, but you disgust me.
"German Wildlife Expert: The Easter Bunny is Freezing to Death"
"Here in the homeland of schadenfreude, the zeal for unmasking academic frauds also reflects certain Teutonic traits, including a rigid adherence to principle and a know-it-all streak. 'I just think that many Germans have a police gene in their genetic makeup,' Dr. Rieble said."