Christmas songs are designed to be catchy, annoying and vaguely reminiscent of winter. The most successful are horrible holiday earworms, such as "Wonderful Christmastime" and "Heat Miser/Snow Miser." But one song is so overplayed and over-covered and so mediocre to begin with that it makes the rest sound like "White Christmas." Its recent exclusion from the A/V Club’s recent list of worst Christmas songs is a gross injustice to the holidays and to musicdom in general.
"Last Christmas," written by George Michael and first performed by Wham! in 1984, is a wallowing mess of a song. It mistakes self-indulgence for closure. It contains a synthy falseness [...]
Perhaps emboldened by the Internet's more lax standards regarding swearing and simulated sex, the blustery songbird Christina Aguilera has returned to her hypersexualized "Dirrty" mode with the Hype Williams-directed video for her stridently club-ready comeback effort "Not Myself Tonight." There is lapdancing, orgiastic throbbing that would make Paula Abdul blush, unbleeped usage of the word "fuck," and clear homages to at least three videos from the past: Madonna's "Express Yourself" (which was itself inspired by Metropolis); Madge's stark episode of Kinky Hollywood Squares"Human Nature"; and George Michael's "Freedom 90". These throwbacky reference points would seem odd for a record that has been hyped to [...]
Man, classic '80s synth music is having a rough couple of days. First there was the desecration of New Order's "True Faith" by George Michael and the Autotune machine that has apparently taken control of mind and relieved him of his faculties. Now Snoop Dogg and T-Pain do something not entirely unsimilar to Yaz's "Situation." (They used Alison Moyet's wonderful bubbly laugh and everything!) "Boom" is also one of the most nonsensical videos I've ever seen. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But, why did we go through a full minute-and-a-half of post-apocalyptic Tusken raider stuff just to get into the same club we spend most hip-hop [...]
Today the ultrasmooth R&B singer-songwriter Ne-Yo released his new single "Beautiful Monster," and it's pretty good — produced by his longtime collaborators Stargate, it's reminiscent of his earlier hit "Closer," only with icier keyboards and a more paranoid outlook. But of course one commenter had to opine that the song was "very Lady Gaga," presumably because it is an uptempo track that uses synthesizers and has the word "monster" in its title. This stray comment from someone named "rambo244" would be funny if this "Gaga already did it"-ism didn't seem to happen with recent output by 99% of pop stars; it would be even funnier if Stefani Germanotta, [...]
Two street performers in Birmingham, England, have been barred from playing musical instruments in public after repeated complaints about their selection of material and performing style. James Ryan and Andrew Cave were prosecuted for playing the same two songs "with a guitar and dustbin lids incessantly, every day, until the early hours of the morning." How bad was it?
The George Michael charity cover of New Order's "True Faith"—an event highly anticipated by Apple head Steve Jobs—has arrived (or, at least, a preview of it has) and, well… I DON'T KNOW! Peter Frampton + Japan + barbiturates? It may be too soon to tell. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
20. Depeche Mode, Violator 19. Bell Biv DeVoe, Poison 18. Fugazi, Repeater 17. Sinéad O'Connor, I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got 16. Deee-Lite, World Clique
