Apple, Google, Hewlett-Packard, Intel, Google, Chevron, Disney, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Oracle, KB Home, Yahoo, Qualcomm, Hilton, Oracle, eBay, Charles Schwab, Clorox, Adobe, Oracle … it seems like a lot of the world's top companies are based in California, including more than half of the NASDAQ technology index. But Texas Governor Rick Perry is the kind of man who knows things in his heart, and he won't let any fancy coastal-elite numbers and facts get in the way of what God tells Rick Perry in the dead of night.

That's why Rick Perry's comically dumb voice is featured on new radio ads aimed at getting Californians to move their [...]

By 38-24, the gay marriage bill fails in the New York State Senate. You know who voted against it? Former New York City Councilmember HIRAM MONSERRATE. It is our editorial opinion that he can go fuck himself. He was endorsed by, among others, The Lesbian and Gay Democratic Club of Queens, after a good deal of gay outreach. Here's the roll call. Pick an enemy today!

Man, everyone is beating a hasty retreat from association with Brian Schroeder, who set fire to a chapel that contained the remains of 9/11 victims. The former editor of the Harvard Latino Law Review, also a former Duke theater major (wow), was on deferral package from the firm of Sidley Austin. (You remember those: getting well-paid to do pro bono work for a year?) Except now he is not, as his employment offer just evaporated. Anyway, at least the Jews are happy to sit this one out.

Awl contributor Tom Scocca just blew my mind by IM'ing me this sentence, from this coming Sunday's fairly interesting New York Times Magazine cover story about gay kids: "By far the most common usage of the word 'gay' in middle schools is in the expression 'that's so gay,' a popular adolescent phrase that means that something is dumb or lame." Um. *Head explodes.* Hey. You guys? Anyone? You mean, "dumb," the word that used to mean "a person unable to speak" that later came to mean "stupid"? And "lame," the word that used to mean "a person who is crippled" and later came to mean "stupid"? So basically this [...]

Q. "When two men get married and one takes the other's last name (rather than creating one of those hyphenated thingies), how do you refer to his former last name?" A. "Slave name."

The headquarters of Manhunt.net, a website that, as Wikipedia puts it, "facilitates same-sex introductions," are located in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a worldwide center of learning and racial profiling. And other types of profiling as well! Coursing through the Manhunt servers are the profiles of the service's 1.5 million users, which rush towards each other at about twenty-three miles per hour, the speed at which fluid may be propelled through the male human urethra into whoever or whatever one desires, in whatever manner one desires it.

Here is HBO's Grey Gardens director Michael Sucsy on Facebook, this morning, after the movie was nominated for an insane 17 Emmy nominations. Holy smokes, I thought it would do well, but my word! Totally robbed: for dramatic series, Battlestar Galactica (also BSG's Mary McDonnell, unbelievably) and Friday Night Lights. Totally awesome nomination: John Slattery for Mad Men. Full big-category list here.

To make a far-too-early prediction? Charles Cooper, who is defending Prop 8 in court today, is going to get his ass handed to him. His craaaazy interpretation of Loving v. Virginia cannot possibly sit well. We particularly enjoyed (rough transcript):

"Judge Walker: If the President's parents had been in Virginia when he was born, their marriage would have been unlawful. Doesn't that show a tremendous change in the institution of marriage?"

"Cooper: Racial restrictions were never a feature of the institution of marriage. [Laughter in our courtroom.]"

Avril Lavigne songs don't make me cry. Except this morning, listening to the new "Glee" soundtrack: as I was thinking about the lost battle for marriage equality in Maine, the cast's cover of "Keep Holding On" started streaming through my headphones. I lost it.

I confess that prior to hearing the song on the show, ALL I knew about it was that Avril sung it. Kids like her, right? Oh, and it's the fucking theme to fucking Eragon.

Now this is how it's done, kids! "Blogging will be relatively light for the next six days as the Key West Business Guild is bringing me down on a press junket to cover Fantasy Fest…. Full disclosure: The Guild is paying for our airfare, lodging, meals, excursions-the whole shebang. Fuller disclosure: I'm completely open to similar offers from the cities of Rio de Janeiro, Barcelona, Mykonos, Sitges…." I didn't even know where Sitges was, I had to Google it!

Poor Monica Hesse is hated by every gay blogger in America pretty much, because she wrote a funny Washington Post profile about the head of NOM NOM NOM, who is a cheery douchebag with an obsession on hating gay marriage, and all the gays were like, NO ONE CAN BE NICE TO THAT MONSTER. Which isn't a terribly wrong viewpoint, but, seriously homos, turn it down a notch. So the WaPo ombudsman devoted his Sunday column to Miss Monica and her story, and revealed that she is a failed lesbian! This is so much better than "I have soooo many black friends."

Oh, so, some of the guys in this slideshow of men with man-purses are straight and some are gay! But I'll leave it to you to interpret all the incredibly subtle factors that help you judge which are which.

To be fair, I was hard on the life of the sexless straight man this morning, so let us also consider the horrible, sad breakups of the gays, regarding which you should really watch this slideshow about the semi-dissolution of property just as a gay marriage is aborted. The wedding became an awkward party! And their breakup is very diffuse! One gay was mad at the other gay about his blog? And they were both being "mean" to each other? I don't know….