The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:45:22 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 Barack Obama's Eyes Were Watching God http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/barack-obamas-eyes-were-watching-god http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/barack-obamas-eyes-were-watching-god#comments Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:45:22 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/barack-obamas-eyes-were-watching-god "Let me be perfectly rear..."
In the matter of United States President Barack Obama's ass-ogling, let us not jump to hasty conclusions. I believe moderation, restraint, and an awareness of the complexities of the male gaze require no less than a considered and circumspect response.

For example:

I am not going to say what President Obama was looking at because honestly only he knows. Those who say he was looking at her rear do not know for sure what they are saying and those that say he is not also have no idea in reality. We have all had moments where we looked somewhere we should not have and then also had moments where we just happen to be looking in a place where something inappropriate then appears and are forced to turn away in embarrassment. Who really knows what was happening here. It is really all about the context and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
Exactly! Who among us can say with any degree of certainty that the President's attention was drawn irrevocably to that astounding ass, its full, supple mounds pulling his eyes toward those remarkable orbs and causing him-for just a moment-to forget all else about his surroundings, the burdens of office, notions of propriety, or any other thing? Is it within your capacity to assert with any sort of confidence that Obama could not help but drink in that fantastic, life-affirming ass, an ass which gives credence to the seemingly untenable position that there is indeed some divine creator who shapes our ends? Of course not! He was probably just staring over her shoulder-a shoulder attached to a body that bears the world's most magnificent ass. I mean, HOLY COW, that is some amazing ass. I gotta lie down.

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]]> "Let me be perfectly rear..."
In the matter of United States President Barack Obama's ass-ogling, let us not jump to hasty conclusions. I believe moderation, restraint, and an awareness of the complexities of the male gaze require no less than a considered and circumspect response.

For example:

I am not going to say what President Obama was looking at because honestly only he knows. Those who say he was looking at her rear do not know for sure what they are saying and those that say he is not also have no idea in reality. We have all had moments where we looked somewhere we should not have and then also had moments where we just happen to be looking in a place where something inappropriate then appears and are forced to turn away in embarrassment. Who really knows what was happening here. It is really all about the context and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
Exactly! Who among us can say with any degree of certainty that the President's attention was drawn irrevocably to that astounding ass, its full, supple mounds pulling his eyes toward those remarkable orbs and causing him-for just a moment-to forget all else about his surroundings, the burdens of office, notions of propriety, or any other thing? Is it within your capacity to assert with any sort of confidence that Obama could not help but drink in that fantastic, life-affirming ass, an ass which gives credence to the seemingly untenable position that there is indeed some divine creator who shapes our ends? Of course not! He was probably just staring over her shoulder-a shoulder attached to a body that bears the world's most magnificent ass. I mean, HOLY COW, that is some amazing ass. I gotta lie down.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/barack-obamas-eyes-were-watching-god/feed 19 Berlusconi Hands Out Autographed Jackets To Bemused G8 Summiteers http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/berlusconi-hands-out-autographed-jackets-to-bemused-g8-summiteers http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/berlusconi-hands-out-autographed-jackets-to-bemused-g8-summiteers#comments Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:20:27 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/07/berlusconi-hands-out-autographed-jackets-to-bemused-g8-summiteers DEFINITELY wash before wearingWorld leaders at the G8 summit meeting in L'Aquila, Italy, are receiving a very special gift from Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi: hookers! Oops, no, actually, they're getting Belstaff motorcycle jackets. These aren't just any old coats, either: "Every single jacket is made to measure," said Manuele Malenotti, whose Italy-based Clothing Co bought Belstaff five years ago. "Every single jacket is signed by Berlusconi." As presents go, I guess it beats an iPod. And Berlusconi no doubt believes that anything with his signature on it is the best gift anyone could ever get. But it's got to be a disappointment to those who came expecting the famous Berlusconi hookers. You know what I'm talking about, right, Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso?

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]]> DEFINITELY wash before wearingWorld leaders at the G8 summit meeting in L'Aquila, Italy, are receiving a very special gift from Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi: hookers! Oops, no, actually, they're getting Belstaff motorcycle jackets. These aren't just any old coats, either: "Every single jacket is made to measure," said Manuele Malenotti, whose Italy-based Clothing Co bought Belstaff five years ago. "Every single jacket is signed by Berlusconi." As presents go, I guess it beats an iPod. And Berlusconi no doubt believes that anything with his signature on it is the best gift anyone could ever get. But it's got to be a disappointment to those who came expecting the famous Berlusconi hookers. You know what I'm talking about, right, Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso?

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