Did you go out at 3 in the morning so you could take pictures of a vaguely orange moon? Well you're a fucking moron and I don't have anything else to say to you. Good Lord, how do you live with yourself?
"Record-Breaking Meteorite Crash on Moon Sparks Brightest Lunar Explosion Ever" is the headline, and if the actual video of it is something less graphic and forceful than anyone who hates the moon (which is everyone with any sense) might desire it is still, as the joke goes, a good start.
"China successfully launched a lunar probe into space Monday morning, on a two-week journey to deliver a robotic rover to the surface of the moon. The mission marks China's first attempt at soft-landing a spacecraft on an extra-terrestrial body, and could benefit future plans to land Chinese astronauts on the moon." —Dear China,
Please cut yourself some slack on this one and just go for the hard landing. Do not worry about hurting the moon, just RAM THAT ROBOTIC ROVER INTO ITS STUPID SATELLITE CRUST UNTIL WE CAN HEAR THE SCREAMS OF MOON PAIN FROM SPACE. I mean, whatever, do what you feel like, but, you know, if [...]
"The 'Rising Moon' lights up in Hong Kong ahead of the Mid-autumn festival. The 10-meter or 32-foot high dome was created to celebrate the night when the moon is at its roundest and brightest."
How do you make slideshows even more pointless? Add moon.
"What would happen to the Earth if the moon was destroyed?" Apart from the MASSIVE REJOICING and WAVE OF GOOD FEELINGS BROUGHT FORTH UPON THE LAND, pretty much nothing. Things would get a little wobbly, but it seems like a fair trade-off. NOW can we destroy the moon? Please?
The wonderful news that NASA is deliberately crashing two space probes into the moon is tempered somewhat by the fact that this is actually an attempt to be a more careful steward of that useless satellite's surface. While we have been using the moon as a garbage dump for years—because that's the only thing it's good for—now the agency is concerned that the junk we quite rightly chuck onto that stupid rock might "come to rest in a historically significant place, like on Neil Armstrong’s footprints." You can IMAGINE how I feel about that. PAVE THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING ALREADY.