The Awl

"This fall, nobody’s more in touch with their inner Lisbeth Salander than the women of Brooklyn"

Choire Sicha — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:50:40 +0000

"This fall, nobody’s more in touch with their inner Lisbeth Salander than the women of Brooklyn, terrorized by more than 20 sex attacks in Park Slope, Windsor Terrace and Kensington over the past eight months.... And now, in an appropriately Swedish turn, regular women can channel their outer Lisbeth, too. H&M’s 30-piece Dragon Tattoo line was created by Trish Summerville, the Fincher film’s costume designer, and distills the essence of her character into slightly less S&M-y threads."
—Take back the night, it belongs to H&M. (via)

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

11 comments

Gays Brought Terribly Low by Heterosexual Newspaper's Makeovers

Choire Sicha — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:20:36 +0000

Finally, someone tells gay men what to wear! Not just any someone, but my one true fashion love, Cathy Horyn. Yet the results... well, the results here, where the Times has helped three gay male couples dress for their weddings, or for their anticipated weddings (couldn't find three couples getting married SOON???), some things that concerned me.

• “'I’ve only been to one gay wedding,' Mr. Bruno said as he was being prepped for his portrait with Mr. Ruales. 'The couple wore dark suits with white button-downs, no ties.'" THEY DID??? AND YOU STILL TALK TO THEM?

• "Of all the outfits, Bruce was perhaps most excited by a pair of dove gray suits from Calvin Klein, which will be available at Men’s Wearhouse and tuxedo rental shops." [*cries*]

• "'Until there are more examples — the gay beach wedding, the serious Four Seasons wedding — it’s hard to know what to market,' said Michael Kors, who wed his partner, Lance LePere, on a beach in the Hamptons, with Mr. Kors in his customary black T-shirt and white jeans and Mr. LePere in a chambray shirt and chinos." There is no gay wedding "market" and if there is it won't be emanating from the boutiques of Michael Kors, home of the worst belts in the western world.

This is just not how I pictured gay wedding makeovers. Gay people are better than straight people. This dragging of them by their hair down into the straight bargain torture basement is really upsetting!

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

16 comments

Your Life Can Seem Ever More Mundane

Choire Sicha — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 09:07:18 +0000

@CathyHorynNYT
Cathy Horyn Benches cracking at Balenciaga as guests leap up. A second one just carted off. Now a third broke and nervous buzz starts, as in "Me next?"
Sep 29 via Twitter for BlackBerry®FavoriteRetweetReply

Paris fashion week is off to a bang in the 6th arrondissement! Haha, good stuff. The French can't even make a decent bench! Silly French people. But also, here is one for the file on Great Moments in Runway Shows Coverage:

“What happened? What happened?” Chiara Mastroianni cried out earlier to Salma Hayek as the Mexican-born actress gingerly walked towards her seat in rope-soled platforms, her right ankle wrapped in a bandage. “A little bit crippled,” Hayek whispered, explaining that she had previously torn ligaments and recently twisted the ankle again. So are such high heels advisable? “It’s okay for five minutes,” she shrugged.

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

4 comments

Your Jeans Have A Body Count

Alex Balk — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 12:50:54 +0000

Are your fancy Italian jeans killing people? Yes. Yes they are.

---

See more posts by Alex Balk

2 comments

Was the Met's McQueen Show Just Camp with Cruddy Techno?

Choire Sicha — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 16:30:57 +0000

We cannot call McQueen an artist and simultaneously show his art in such a silly way. His talents were in tailoring, draping, volume, etc—and "Savage Beauty" obfuscates those talents by placing his beautiful clothes in a relentlessly cheesy, cartoonish sideshow, part mausoleum, part Hot Topic. The "Savage Beauty" exhibit with all its smoke and burnished mirrors, its gothic display cubbies, its spinning mannequins, supposedly menacing heartbeat sounds and–worst of all–pumping techno music do nothing but distract from why we are celebrating McQueen in the first place. Essentially, "Savage Beauty" is not about McQueen’s designs but an act of pinning to him this romantic narrative, a Kurt Cobain story under pumping atmospheric techno.

—I'm not sure I entirely agree with this but there are actually some very good points!

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

9 comments

Shopping for Men: The New Yorker's Complete (and Catty) Guide

Choire Sicha — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 11:00:21 +0000

Today, Patricia Marx goes shopping with men in the New Yorker! (Yes, subscription-only, so, sadtrombone.wav.) The whole thing is a really quite largely useful guide for men who are baffled and scared, from Brooks Brothers to Bergdorf Mens' Store to 20 Peacocks (although just don't even go in that Ralph Lauren store, gross), and you should note that Ms. Marx's male friend really ought to have bought the blue Zegna suit at Bergdorfs, it's gorgeous. But here is the most relevant passage to our interests. The Tom Ford store on Madison Ave. is America's greatest shopping treature! I bet it was that haughty Russian shopboy Nikolai! No, but seriously: if you can't fit into his fascist shirts, you're definitely not going to fit into the fall sweaters. Get a nice tie.

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

35 comments

"Beauty Transformation," Stockholm Syndrome and Womens' Magazines

Choire Sicha — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 15:50:43 +0000

"Not long after working at Allure, I had perfectly straight hair with the most expensive caramel highlights, skin that glowed and perfectly white teeth. And every other day, I had on a pair of Stuart Weitzman or Dolce&Gabbana heels that I tried my hardest not to topple over in while walking on the too-slippery floor of the infamous Frank Gehry-designed cafeteria.... It took me about two years to realize that the whole thing was bullshit."
—Lady escapes lady mag.

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

0 comments

Summer Weddings, Belts, How to Pack and Tucking in Shirts

Choire Sicha — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 17:01:27 +0000

It's been a long road: we've talked about pretty much everything that could be considered attire of any form for men, really, from bags to shoes to ties and hats. Phew! So we're ending with four great questions from readers. You guys are the best.

Tucking It In

I am happy with many of my sartorial choices but if there's one thing that terrifies me it's tucking my shirt in. My wardrobe right now mostly works around this: in pleasant weather (when I'm dressing nicely) I generally wear either vaguely hip polo shirts or short-sleeve button shirts that look decent (if slightly saucy) with the tails untucked; in the winter I have an array of nice sweaters; for in between I have some lighter-weight pullover shirts. But sometimes I feel that a shirt with a collar that buttons in front (I guess this is a "dress shirt?" thanks to you I know now that "button-down shirt" is the wrong generic term for this, though some of them that I own are button-downs) is called for, and furthermore looking at myself with the tails out makes me look like an embarrassing man-child.

BUT! Is there anyway to tuck in one of these shirts and not look like a tool? I haven't figured it out. I am relatively tall and slim (6-1, 34 length pant, waist somewhere between 32 and 34, depending on the brand and/or my current fitness level) BUT like many dudes who like fatty foods and don't work obsessively on their ab crunches, I have a bit of a paunch above the waist—I wouldn't call it a "gut" per se but it definitely sticks out a bit. This seems to only be accentuated by the way shirts poof out around the waist when you tuck them in. Is there some non-poofy way to do this that I'm just not getting? How much of your shirt tails are you supposed to stuff into your pants?

Anyway, this is turning into more a plea for help for my manorexia than an actual request for fashion advice, but I am still interested in your take. Alternately, maybe non-tucked-in button shirts aren't the signifier of immaturity that I imagine? I just got a couple J Crew fitted tailored fit dress shirts (sale at the outlets!) and got them in a medium instead of my usual large and they look a little snappier untucked, I think. (Of course, with them I worry whether their pastel hues make me look like a monstrous superpreppie, but that's a story for another day.) Thanks for any advice you might offer!

I'm a little worried about your manorexia, not gonna lie!

So, this is a matter of taste. Loose shirttails can look sloppy or charming, gross or cute.

Basically, if a shirt hangs down in front of the fly of your pants, it's a disaster. Because you'll look all weird and bumpy and stuff, usually. An untucked shirt that stops a couple of inches below the belt can work; but I also find that actually often untucked shirts accentuate a gut. (Also: ties help you feel less chunky!)

I like a square-cut shirt tail for untucked shirts. That way it's not all weird and schloopy. (Not a word.)

You've made the most important move already in dress shirts: SHIRTS THAT FIT. Yeah, why were you buying large shirts? This is a thing dudes do all the time and it's annoying! It's like all those ladies who are running around with the wrong bra size in those stories we read every six months in some magazine. Can you button the top button? Do the cuffs land properly at the top of your hands? CONGRATS, YOUR SHIRT FITS. No need to go bigger!

As for the rest of it? You just gotta feel right. Do you feel like your shirt is doing something dumb? Then you're probably wearing it wrong.

And here is how you tuck in a shirt.

1. Put on your shirt, button it up, put on a tie if you're doing such, etc.

2. Unbuckle, unbutton, unzip and pull your pants down to your knees. (Heyyyyyy!)

3. Pull your shirt down tight over your underwear.

4. Pull your pants back up, with the shirt underneath the pants. (I KNOW RIGHT?)

5. Zip, button, buckle, etc.

RIGHT?

This sounds obvious? But yeah, don't stuff your shirt into your pants, it goes wrong. And if you sort of have to fold it about in the back? Your shirts are too big. (Go to Valentino!)

Summer Weddings

I need some advice.

I have a dark gray/black suit from a couple years ago. I don't think that really goes out of style (does it? AHHHH being a semi-schlubby straight man is SO TOUGH sometimes). Have any color suggestions for a shirt/tie if I'm going to an afternoon wedding, night reception with a preppy crowd.

Then, probably the bigger issue: I have a dark gray sports coat. I don't really have a lot of money, so I'd like to be able to use it, but, it being fairly dark and all, what can I do to make it fit the season/current style trends better? Color or fabric suggestions for shirt/pants, even just a general place to start would be greatly appreciated as I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Don't be overwhelmed! It's going to be okay. But... an AFTERNOON WEDDING in SUMMER???? Yes, your dark gray/black suit certainly does go out of style.

This is what people are going to be wearing (DEPENDING on the variety of dress that's specified on the invitation):

But you never know! Here's what you do: you should also call up some bros that you know who are going and ask what they are wearing. Boys are scared to talk to boys in this way! Make it funny. I mean, it's easy to say, "Uh, hey, what the heck do I wear to the wedding of Mikey and that harlot, am I right?" (I'm kidding, Mikey's fiancé, we all know he's the harlot.)

For a wedding, I really feel like a suit is in order, unless the invite says like "come as a carnie" or "super casual by the lake," although you can wear a blue blazer with tan pants? Or vice versa? But... it's a wedding. So think cotton. (When you're older, you'll go linen.) Preppy. Joyous. GO TO J PRESS OR BROOKS BROTHERS IMMEDIATELY. J Press is often cheaper. Brooks Brothers runs about $500 in summer suits, which may be more than you want to spend now.

ALSO PRO CHEAP TIP: Tokyo7 in the East Village always has some very nice previously owned suits. Very few summer suits usually, but you never know! (Get them cleaned!)

Going Places

Sometimes I have to go on business trips and I'll stay somewhere for several days and I'll need to wear nice clothes. What's the best way to travel with blazers? Do I have to carry that dumb bag with me? Is there another way to do it?

Ooh, business trips! The best possible solution is: only bring one blazer and wear it on the plane. Mmm hmm. But if you've got multiple meetings or need suits, the garment bag is the only way to roll. Sorry! I know, it's so weird, it makes you feel like an Olde Time Traveling Salesman or something. I always feel like a grumpy dad.

BONUS THOUGH: HOW TO PACK!

1. Lay out your pants.

2. Lay out your shirts.

3. Tuck in the shirt arms, and fold the shirts in half on a vertical line.

4. Lay the folded shirts across the pants, forming a cross.

5. Fold the pants over the shirts.

6. Fold the shirts over the pants.

7. Slide this square of clothing into a carry-on bag!

BLAMMO. DID I JUST RUIN YOUR MIND??? (To be fair, my life changed when someone showed me this!)

Beltless Nation

When is it okay to not wear a belt?

• Going out for coffee before showers.

• In gym shorts or other pants without belt loops, including swimsuits and beach causal wear.

• When you are wearing suspenders, obvs, Clarence Darrow!

• When you slept over at someone's house and they stole your belt and you had to run for your life.

• When you get arrested and they take away your belt. Which they do! So don't get arrested!

Sponsored posts are purely editorial content that we are pleased to have presented by a participating sponsor, advertisers do not produce the content. This series/post is brought to you by Gillette. Learn more about Gillette and its products at Gillette.com.

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

59 comments

Crazed Designer Michael Bastian to Stop Selling $540 Shorts!

Choire Sicha — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 16:10:41 +0000

"At some point during the last five years, it occurred to Michael Bastian that $540 was a lot to charge for a pair of khaki cut-off shorts, even if some men were willing to pay."
—As we have noted in this Michael Bastian display of homeless hipster Park Slope dork DILF chic that costs $1765, perhaps it is possible to overprice clothes! Now the designer is trying to cut his costs... by 10 to 20%. I will not see you there!

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

14 comments

Watches are the Devil's Accoutrement!

Choire Sicha — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 14:45:52 +0000

In these overclocking times, watches are nothing but a giant wad of burned cash hanging on your wrist. They're like a vulgar codpiece of consumption, but, like, on your arm. They are, almost, evil.

They're heavy. They're annoying. They're pretty much duplicative. They're one more thing to sweat under in summer. They leave very awkwardly shaped tan lines. Also, yes, sometimes they're very pretty!

Watches are all status, all symbol and not really much function. I mean, they're a timepiece? Since you already have an iPhone and a BlackBerry clipped to your belt (oh my God, do you really? Come on), you already know what time and day it is.

And yet, there are wonderful moments for them.

On an airplane.

If you are like me, and of course you are, you want to know how much longer that flight lasts. As soon as you are "safe" to use "approved electronic devices"—which, I really try not to think about how my Bose noise-canceling headphones might possibly interfere with takeoff and ascent! Because I know the answers! —I set a little countdown timer till landing. But that system is prone to failure (unlike hydraulic landing gear), because then you have to turn off your electronic devices again at the end. This is when a watch is really handy! Get a cheap Swatch!

In a sauna or steam room.

You don't want to overstay your steaming welcome. Time both crawls and flies in there and you don't want to lose an hour and four gallons of bodily moisture. Also you want something to look at in a bored manner if someone is giving you the sexy side-eye and you don't swing that way.

In court.

Just to look nice. And also you shouldn't pull out your phone with the judge in the room, it's bad form.

Around rich people.

Rich people love watches more than any other kind of person! When you're around rich people, just mutter "Vacheron Constantin, Girard-Perregaux" over and over and they'll love you and accept you. Those are also, if I were a person who could stand to have a watch on or near me, the only makers of watches to whom I would give my money.

On the plus side....

The one really good thing about a truly expensive watch is that, like with diamonds, you can easily flee the country with them and exchange them for cash when you arrive at your new home in non-extradition territory. Disasters only happen to poor and therefore unprepared people!

---

See more posts by Choire Sicha

59 comments