"An article on Monday about Tiger Woods’s victory at the Cadillac Championship described his bogey on the par-4 18th hole incorrectly. He drove into the rough, hit out to the fairway, flirted with the water on his approach and settled for a bogey after a chip and a putt. It is not the case that he drove into the rough, flirted with the water on his approach and settled for a bogey after a chip and two putts."

Relax, everybody, all it means is that the famous golfer shot a "three-under-par 69 in the Farmers Insurance Open first round Thursday," okay? Which he probably celebrated by banging a couple of cocktail waitresses.