This attack on MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell is something I largely agree with, though I found his own recent attacks on Bill O'Reilly rather worthwhile. He's irritating (I mean, so is basically everyone on TV), and the sounds that come out of his mouth really are dripping with annoyingness! He's this odd thing, that is very captivating at first, because he's incredibly well-modulated, and also great with tempo. But then once you're on to his showman tricks, they wear thin and he becomes profoundly boring. But hey, and I acknowledge that my complaint here is exceedingly minor, but is the New York Observer, of all venues, really going to plead ignorance of Seize sur Vingt, from whence O'Donnell allegedly gets his socks? Girlfriends, there is one in Soho! They opened in NoLIta in 1998! Their "custom-made shirts" aren't even all that, they're so-so, and it's certainly not even that high-end. If you are looking for something for a businessy man-friend, it is not the worst place to drop some money. But yeah: Lawrence O'Donnell, irksome.

Essex is obviously a really classy place where there's a ton of pressure to be perfect at all times, innit? The Daily Mirror, which is where I get all my truly reliable news and life affirmations, reported that Andrew Hudgell, 26, from Chelmsford in Essex, had a moob reduction surgery. Then they posted his picture, ensuring that despite no longer possessing soft, hillock-like pectoral topography he will still be openly mocked, since phantom bitch tits are way gay.

All of my dark arts of voodoo and evil manipulation have paid off, coinciding as they do with Heather Locklear's declining bank accounts and need for tabloid ink, and the lady herself is guest-returning to the new Melrose Place, which I am insanely excited about even though I'm not going to watch it, because why would I, I have a life. STILL. Tell you what, The CW: if you can engineer a return of Traci Lords to kidnap someone's baby into a cult, I will actually find out what channel you broadcast on and maybe DVR it. MAYBE. No promises.