Posts Tagged: Epidemics
21

Put Your Phone Down

As a people we have lost the plot. Because we can document everything, we will, and we can't stop. Every event is now a sea of people with their arms held up in a triangle, forming an illuminati symbol with our phones at the apex. We've gone too far. It has to stop. Like a Beyoncé concert, the New York City fireworks were a nightmare of phones, and for what? For nothing. Data for your cloud. You can fully understand why performers—and brides and grooms!—want to ban all cellphones at events.

Take a picture of a flower, a baby, a cat, a sidewalk, an airplane, a painting, please. [...]

3

New Bird Flu Claims First Human Victims, Blogs Blame It On Dead River Pigs

"H7N9 bird flu is considered a low pathogenic strain that cannot easily be contracted by humans," the AP reports from Beijing. Well that would be very comforting for humans (if not for birds), except for the sad fact that the wire story is about the first two humans known to be killed by H7N9. Another infected human is in critical condition.

But it's supposedly a low-level virus and not the SARS kind of crazy—that virus jumped to humans from a weird kind of wildcat cruelly captured and then kept in cages to sell to bad people at markets. SARS eventually killed 775 of the 8,000 infected during that [...]

8

Is Pig Virus Over?

It may be time for us to once again venture outdoors; the terrible scourge of Swine Flu appears to have peaked. It's been a horrific epidemic, as evidenced by the rioting, looting, and dead bodies of H1N1 victims piling up in the streets, but with the blessings of the Lord it seems that we hardy few survivors are now able to reassemble what's left of our shattered society.