Here are 50 questions you should not answer on the upcoming census so that the government doesn't get up in your business. (Hint: if they start asking about cats or Jews, things are going weird.) @10:10 AM 14
I found this beautiful, moving, and ultimately uplifting. Hopefully you will too. @12:10 PM 14
Our Second-Favorite Parenting Columnist @11:54 AM
This rundown of one j-school student's favorite newspapers points us to "one of the country's most non-sequitur parenting columns." It is called Daddy Needs A Drink, and it lives at the Santa Fe Reporter, and, indeed! Here is Rob Wilder on the matter of his very young son's surprising new hair choices:
London has been growing his locks long for many many moons. Hell, I've been growing mine too and even sported a Vandyke to give me that "rock me sexy Jesus" look, but dreads? On a white boy? Never saw it coming, I swear: My beautiful sonchild sporting a mullock (mullet + dreadlock) and morphing into a Boulder hippie, trying to score weed on a lonely street corner, all while wearing socks with leather flip-flops.
Did you get stuck at the beginning there, when you found out his son's name is London? Love it. 40
Flicked Off: 'Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans' @10:02 AM
Of the three important movies opening today, our coverage of one of them will be handled elsewhere, by Mr. Joe MacLeod of the Baltimore City Paper:
Do you like Nicolas Cage? He ate a bug once, for real, in a movie. Do you think Nicolas Cage is a fucking weirdo sellout who maybe used to be an actor who could have done something with his career other than make movies such as Con Air or that piece of shit Ghost Rider? Do you ever find yourself wondering about Nicolas Cage's physical appearance or the provenance of the hair on his head? Remember Nicolas Cage in that remake of Kiss of Death with that red-headed tool who's on one of the C.S.I. shows now? Wasn't Nicolas Cage pretty good in Adaptation and Matchstick Men? Do you think of Nicolas Cage as a has-been? Have you ever found yourself annoyed because there's no "h" in Nicolas Cage's first name?
Among the Pod People: Jail as Panopticon @9:30 AM
Awl correspondent Natasha Vargas-Cooper publishes a very human-to-human conversation with Kari Ferrell today, who explains, among other things, what it's like in jail:
As with most of society, I assumed that the only people incarcerated were individuals who R Kelly'd little boys, and those who like freebasing crack cocaine out of human skulls. There have been girls in here for such things as unpaid parking tickets, driving without insurance, jay walking (seriously! And it was her only charge-spent four days in here) and giving a blowjob to her partner (by marriage) at a park. (Hello, who hasn't done that?) Obviously there are those in here for more serious crimes, and that is unsurprising, but jay walking? …. the most unsurprising thing is that it's exactly how I thought it would be: It's the Orwellian nature of jail itself.
Two things: this is the first interesting thing we've read about this person since Doree Shafrir wrote first about the story. The other is: I am long past ready for us all to obsess about a new criminal now. 16
Elsewhere: Paper Monitor @1:00 PM
It is unbylined, so I'm not sure who deserves the credit for it, but the BBC's daily press roundup is one of the great joys of my morning. Today's edition, which focused exclusively on the Sun, was particularly good. Give it a read, I think you'll like it. 6
Elsewhere: Apparently Michael Vick Is In The News? @9:50 AM
You should know that Awl contributor Tom Scocca is guest-hosting on Deadspin today! Something something "Orioles," something something "man bites dog." (I don't know, sports.) 3
