At yesterday's opening of Duane Reade's new store at 40 Wall Street, three men in suits sat under a rolling stock ticker and had what seemed to be the first ever power lunch held in a drug store. I gravitated towards the someone who I thought was the manager of the store: I wanted to understand why this Duane Reade was so lush.

She sent me to talk to one of the power lunchers, Joe Magnacca, the—wait for it—President for Daily Living Products & Solutions at Walgreens Duane Reade Inc. With a little soulpatch and nice pinstripe suit, he is clearly the most baller Walgreens exec.

A correspondent takes issue with my characterization of the local apothecary as a crucible of spiritual malaise. She notes that: "Your POV may be very gender-specific. Most NYC women I know LOVE going to Duane Reade because it's fun to stock up on stuff like hair products, makeup, cleaning supplies and tampons/pads. I can't tell you how many times I've had a female friend tell me she 'accidentally' dropped $100+ in a Duane Reade. Shorter: Needs more ovaries." Similar sentiments have been expressed in the post itself, leading me to realize that, not for the first time, my cock has clouded my cogitations. Apologies; I forgot how you [...]

Duane Reade's 22,000 square foot store, opening in the 40 Wall Street Trump building tomorrow? " It includes opulent amenities like a hair salon for shampoos, blow dries and blowouts; a nail bar for manicures and massages; a pharmacy with a doctor on hand for consultation during the week; and a grocery market featuring sushi and smoothie bars. There is also a stock ticker."

This is all the fault of the hipsters, who made sweet love to the Duane Reade hipster pharmacy ("which features a bar that sells 64-ounce bottles of beer") in Williamsburg. (After complaining about it endlessly, of course.) Now you'll all get the pharmacy you [...]

In a city that works overtime to make you feel alone, there is perhaps no more depressing mundanity than a trip to the Duane Reade. A wave of ennui smacks you in the face as soon as you walk in—generally through the out door because some schmuck who never learned to read or doesn't care to is exiting through the in, but very slowly because he's talking on his cell phone and is clearly unaware that there are other people around him who might also need to make use of the goods and services the store somewhat grudingly provides.

Duane Reade—a subsidiary of Walgreens!—carries fine American mass-market cards for every occasion, from "I'm sorry I don't love you enough" to "You should probably get checked out at the clinic" to "happy graduation, foster son of my lesbian partner."

They also carry a diverse line of Barack Obama birthday cards, which range from adulatory to scare-mongering. Here's pics of the front of the card and their inside panel.