"You are looking at Apple's next iPhone. It was found lost in a bar in Redwood City, camouflaged to look like an iPhone 3GS."

"As a specific Threat Event, the anticipated catastrophic effects resulting from 2012 are far greater than the anticipated effects from WMD's, anarchy, climate change or any of the other specific Threat Events for which we have developed mitigation designs." Anarchy: it's a specific Threat Event now! But fear not: Hardened Structures Hardened Shelters LLC is here to help in the next two years and 8 months or whatever! The trickiest thing about your 2012 Mitigation Shelter is that no one yet knows what exactly what we're hunkering down about, but we'll find out! (Unless we're in a shelter.) As the builders point out: "While the shelter will be designed [...]

Aww, Best Picture nominee cookies in Chelsea. I do not see one with a Jew beating someone's head in?