To: Staff From: Alex Balk Re: Seasonal Demises

The passings this weekend of former child star Gary Coleman and actor/director/Ameriprise pitchman Dennis Hopper have resulted in pressure from both internal and external sources for this organization to reassert its hold on the phrase "Summer of Death," an appellation first bestowed by the site early last July. There are obvious arguments for why we should insist upon our claim over the expression, not least of which being the fact that those sonsofbitches in the rest of the media will happily steal it from us without giving it a second thought. Also, two famous people died.

Nice one, E!: "Dennis Hopper's reportedly taken an uneasy ride to an emergency room." The report says that the actor was brought into the emergency room wearing an oxygen mask; how hard would it have been to go that extra yard and make a Blue Velvet reference at the same time?