Citigroup's quarterly results, announced this morning, are a huge pile of bullshit. That the New York Times would headline their story "After Year of Heavy Losses, Citigroup Finds a Profit" is fairly dubious-although "finds" is hilarious. That's because Citi actually went out and found a way to make it look like they had a profit. We found a great explanation of what Citi did, in a toss-off by John Carney during the earnings conference call.