This is how the Freelancer’s Panic works: Checks that are supposed to have arrived get lost in the jaws of payroll processing, leaving you without any money and, worse yet, a sense that no money will find its way into your mailbox, ever. Days are spent alternating between considering the poor life decisions that have led to this point and sending out mass emails to friends and strangers looking for any leads. Which is how, one day last week, I found myself responding to an ad on the “Writing Gigs” section of the Los Angeles Craigslist that was, most likely, a scam. I mean, it definitely was a scam. Completely. [...]

A web listings service of which I've never heard has released some "stunning data" about crime on Craiglist, putting them somewhere in bed with John Boehner or maybe Rick Santorum. How much crime happens on Craigslist? On average, points out Fast Company, "around 0.00005% of posts are associated with crimes on Craigslist." That puts Craigslist use at somewhere on the safer side of flying in an airplane, which is far safer than sitting in your apartment, basically. And by the way, "crime" also includes prostitution and a whole lot of "other." So they're not only fearmongerers, they also hate proud American (sex) workers.

There are hookers on the Internet! Sex hookers! And you can find them on Craigslist, even though Craigslist promised that they would shoo away all the sex hookers after a similar expose by the intrepid reporters of NBC last year. It's STILL HAPPENING! Hookers! On the Internet! Who will do the sex to you for money! Amazing! Let's remember this story the next time someone starts complaining about how useless the mainstream media is: These guys blew the lid off the sex hooker racket.

• "We are a house of makers, doers, and artists. One of us is an installation artist, another is a writer and hot rock singer, one is a printmaker, one is a southern fashion designer, one does special effects makeup."

• "There is a cat you will be caring for."

• "The room is shared with a lovely young woman and as such, only females need apply."

• "Couples/420/cigarettes/drinking totally ok, but NO PETS."

• "Room DOUBLES AS A MUSIC TEACHING STUDIO from 9:30 AM – 9:00PM ON WED, THUR & FRIDAY so you would need to be out during these hours on these days."

Sad day for crime aficionados: a fake maid who cleaned out houses has been mopped up by the cops. The overly dry, largely literate report: "Jesenia Lopez-Gavilan, 22, of Hialeah, was charged with first-degree grand theft, third-degree grand theft and petit theft. Her boyfriend, Ray L. Valdes, 26, of West Dade, was charged with third-degree grand theft for allegedly driving the getaway car…. According to police, she allegedly advertised herself as a maid named Maria or Vanessa on Craig's list, a website." Haha, a website.

Formerly renowned author Dennis Cooper-and do I need to tell you this link isn't really safe for work?-rounds up "August 2009's notable international male slaves under 30 in their own words and, perhaps, pictures," from, we're just guessing here, Craigslist. It is disturbing in like 22 ways, if you can still be disturbed. The most amusing (OR IS IT?) one follows. (What language do you use here: "my favorite"? Ew.)

Awl pals David "Shapiro" and Joe Coscarelli meet the people who sell you drugs on Craigslist. What could possibly go wrong?

Note: We don't usually do Craigslist posts here at the Awl, but when someone sent us the link to this Missed Connection we recognized its provenance and very quickly saved it in case it was taken down, which it almost immediately was. Here's the whole thing.