Look down. Can you see your knees? Today's a Thursday, so then you had better either be south of the 30th parallel north—Shreveport, say!—or "working at home" and totally naked.

Because if you're in the office, and you work anywhere but the International Society for the Advancement of Shorts, you should go home and change.

The question has even been asked: can a man wear shorts at all, ever, anywhere?