I'm an adviser to John McCain's campaign. 1 Siri calls me “Funk Deity.” 2 Aside from lessons in pole dancing——another fad workout sweeping Southern California——this may be the least macho exercise of all time. 3

I am not a cat person. 4 My mother was one for many years. 5 I am a professor of Shakespeare, among other subjects, at UCLA, and this has never happened to me. 6

I am a sucker for the man-befriends-nonhuman-creature genre of sitcoms. 7 I have no complaints about how much I make. 8

When the New America Foundation moves its offices in D.C., next week, Foreign Policy will become our tenants, but [...]

I think I’d have gone mad.1 I’d probably be in prison or dead.2 I'd always look like someone out of Middle-earth.3

I’d be a lawyer.4 I’d be an event planner.5 I’d be a hypnotist, like Paul McKenna.6 I'd be a surgeon, like my dad.7

I would have been a journalist.8 I would have been a photographer.9

For witches.1 For vampires once they're staked or burned.2 For the Halloween spoilers.3 For puppeteers like Paxton.4

For the systems integrators.5

For a number of Federal court judges, As I am sure there will be for Members of Congress.6 For non-disabled drivers who sport a handicapped placard on the dash And park free all day at a downtown metered spot.7

If you try to use booze to solve a problem, 
 One day you're gonna discover that you have two problems.1 It's one hell of a double act.2

People talk about the joy of sex, 
 But it don't last nothin' like shootin' anvils.3 When they lay you on the table, better keep your business clean.4 
If it’s out there, it’s in here.5

Show me a love story and I'll show you a tragedy.6 Eternal vigilance is where it’s at.7

There is a gender wage gap.1 There is a real world.2 There is poop in your well.3

There is hope.4 There is a G-Spot.5 There is a Bob Hope.6

Regular folks can be taught to code.7 Black love still exists.8 Macy’s stock is a good value Even near highs.9