In Tucson, Arizona, people-novice hunters mostly-kill wild, stinky, tusked pigs that roam the Sonoran Desert in small packs. The name for these beasts is "javelina" (pronounced have-uh-lee-nah), and it's my favorite example of a beautiful word for an ugly thing. A girlfriend of mine once told me that, were it not a violent hog, she'd consider naming a daughter Javelina, and I didn't disagree.

"Classy" is exactly the opposite. To summon forth "classy," one must first smash his tongue against his teeth while simultaneously coughing up a hard "c." Soon enough comes the "assy," which, if spoken without due diligence, can make anyone, regardless of origin, sound like a [...]