As a Catholic, I'm not buying this. Popes don't just quit because they're tired. What's going on here??

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 11, 2013

When the most trusted man in America says something like "What's going on here?", then something is most certainly going on here. Popes, after all, do not "quit" like some deluded star of a network situation comedy. Popes "quit" in the way the mythological first pope, Saint Peter, gave up the duties of his office: by upside-down crucifixion. Or, more generally, death. As Joseph Ratzinger is not technically dead, he is the pope until death, unless he believes he is mightier than God [...]

While we knew that the Boy Scouts had their share of abusing children, now we know that the organization is basically a Catholic Church of covering-up that abuse as well: "In about 400 of those cases — 80% — there is no record of Scouting officials reporting the allegations to police. In more than 100 of the cases, officials actively sought to conceal the alleged abuse or allowed the suspects to hide it, The Times found…. In 1976, five Boy Scouts wrote detailed complaints accusing a Pennsylvania scoutmaster of two rapes and other sex crimes, according to his file. He abruptly resigned in writing, saying he had [...]

When this Ratzinger character first became the pope in 2005, it finally seemed like there really was a God … and He obviously loved all the funny pictures and animated GIFs and Star Wars references and constant talk about Hitler on the Internet. Joseph Ratzinger was many things, none of them good, yet paradoxically he was also so very, very good for the Internet. In a way, he was the Internet in human form, much as Jesus Christ or Shiva or Thor were all supposedly God in human form.

Anyway, such great material! We're all going to miss him very much. Sadly, the next pope ("The Last Pope," according [...]

If you're like most everyone else, what makes you want to shake a baby is poverty. But while child abuse doctors-so-called "experts"-are claiming that child abuse is very much on the rise because of the recession, they don't know that. What else changed in the last year? It could easily be because a black man is President. Also they canceled "Dirty Sexy Money" and "Lipstick Jungle," and that upset a lot of people.

For the first time since the Middle Ages, the bishop of Rome is quitting rather than let God decide when it's time for a new pope. Let's celebrate the remarkable career of Joseph Benedict, a lowly Nazi who somehow ended up presiding over the Catholic Church's global sex-abuse coverup and its 21st century jihad against gay people.

The Pope's leadership of 1.2 billion Catholics has been beset by child sexual abuse crises that tarnished the Church, one address in which he upset Muslims and a scandal over the leaking of his private papers by his personal butler.

The last time a pope punked out, it was in [...]