The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:00:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 "Fatal Feline Attraction": Slaves to Cats http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/fatal-feline-attraction-slaves-to-cats http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/fatal-feline-attraction-slaves-to-cats#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:00:36 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/fatal-feline-attraction-slaves-to-cats As we unhappily knew and noted way back in mid-2010, it is extremely worrisome to live with cats, because they are trying to infect us with a parasite that changes our behavior. And here is a new substantial review of the lastest thinking on Toxoplasma gondii and human behavior. If you have ever been near a cat, it'll FREAK YOU OUT, at first. Everybody run! Cats are in control of our minds! (And here, try this on for size: "infected men like the smell of cat pee.") But then... it's possible that those of us who have been infected by our cats have an evolutionary advantage? And it might not be that bad? And also, really, we can't even blame the cats: most people who do get it, which isn't everyone at all, won't get Toxoplasma from cats, but from meat, vegetables or drinking water. VEGETABLES ARE CONTROLLING OUR MINDS. QUICK, PANIC FASTER.

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]]> As we unhappily knew and noted way back in mid-2010, it is extremely worrisome to live with cats, because they are trying to infect us with a parasite that changes our behavior. And here is a new substantial review of the lastest thinking on Toxoplasma gondii and human behavior. If you have ever been near a cat, it'll FREAK YOU OUT, at first. Everybody run! Cats are in control of our minds! (And here, try this on for size: "infected men like the smell of cat pee.") But then... it's possible that those of us who have been infected by our cats have an evolutionary advantage? And it might not be that bad? And also, really, we can't even blame the cats: most people who do get it, which isn't everyone at all, won't get Toxoplasma from cats, but from meat, vegetables or drinking water. VEGETABLES ARE CONTROLLING OUR MINDS. QUICK, PANIC FASTER.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/fatal-feline-attraction-slaves-to-cats/feed 10 Britain Is Full Of Cats http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/britain-is-full-of-cats http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/britain-is-full-of-cats#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:40:11 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/britain-is-full-of-cats
Is a monstrous feline stalking Knifecrime Island, ready to pounce with its blade-like claws and slash all that the island nation's benighted people hold dear? Yes. And yes.

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Is a monstrous feline stalking Knifecrime Island, ready to pounce with its blade-like claws and slash all that the island nation's benighted people hold dear? Yes. And yes.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/britain-is-full-of-cats/feed 10 A Sad Cat And Dog Story http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/a-sad-cat-and-dog-story http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/a-sad-cat-and-dog-story#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:50:58 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/a-sad-cat-and-dog-story "The legal battle over the ownership of a cat in Stornoway has come to an end after the death of a key witness – a dog." This story does not end happily, in case you couldn't tell.

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]]> "The legal battle over the ownership of a cat in Stornoway has come to an end after the death of a key witness – a dog." This story does not end happily, in case you couldn't tell.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/a-sad-cat-and-dog-story/feed 0 The Thing About Cats And Dogs http://www.theawl.com/2012/01/the-thing-about-cats-and-dogs http://www.theawl.com/2012/01/the-thing-about-cats-and-dogs#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:40:22 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2012/01/the-thing-about-cats-and-dogs Dogs "have similar social skills to two-year-old children and are more likely to listen if owners look them in eye," according to Science, while cats can set houses on fire. I think this is the final proof we've been looking for in the debate over which animal is superior.

Photo by WilleeCole, via Shutterstock

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]]> Dogs "have similar social skills to two-year-old children and are more likely to listen if owners look them in eye," according to Science, while cats can set houses on fire. I think this is the final proof we've been looking for in the debate over which animal is superior.

Photo by WilleeCole, via Shutterstock

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2012/01/the-thing-about-cats-and-dogs/feed 34 "Silent Night" As You've Never Heard It Before http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/cat-dog-sing http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/cat-dog-sing#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2011 14:00:53 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/cat-dog-sing
This is just a remarkable performance of the holiday classic. I've watched it several times already and will almost certainly do so again. Then I need to go see the brain doctor, because something bad is clearly going on up there in my head.

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This is just a remarkable performance of the holiday classic. I've watched it several times already and will almost certainly do so again. Then I need to go see the brain doctor, because something bad is clearly going on up there in my head.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/12/cat-dog-sing/feed 5 Top Eleven Dumb Songs to Sing to Cats http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/top-ten-dumb-songs-to-sing-to-cats http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/top-ten-dumb-songs-to-sing-to-cats#comments Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:00:15 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/top-ten-dumb-songs-to-sing-to-cats 11. I wish cats were a little bit taller, I wish cats were a baller.

10. Two of cats. Two cats that beat as one.

9. Little cat Corvette. Gato, you've got to slow down.

8. I'm looking at that cat in the mirror. I'm asking cats to change their ways.

7. Will things ever be the same again? It's the final catdown!

6. Gato, gato cat. I want to be a gato cat.

5. If there's a cat up in here it's gonna leave with me when I do, I do. (Touch my cats, put them on the floor, play with them some more.)

4. Don't you wish your catfriend was a freak like me?

3. Cats with small talk and small minds really don't impress me in beeeedddd.

2. You can cats. You can cats. Everybody look at your cats.

1. Thank you for being a cat. You're a cat and a confidante.

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]]> 11. I wish cats were a little bit taller, I wish cats were a baller.

10. Two of cats. Two cats that beat as one.

9. Little cat Corvette. Gato, you've got to slow down.

8. I'm looking at that cat in the mirror. I'm asking cats to change their ways.

7. Will things ever be the same again? It's the final catdown!

6. Gato, gato cat. I want to be a gato cat.

5. If there's a cat up in here it's gonna leave with me when I do, I do. (Touch my cats, put them on the floor, play with them some more.)

4. Don't you wish your catfriend was a freak like me?

3. Cats with small talk and small minds really don't impress me in beeeedddd.

2. You can cats. You can cats. Everybody look at your cats.

1. Thank you for being a cat. You're a cat and a confidante.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/top-ten-dumb-songs-to-sing-to-cats/feed 126 Cats Nonplussed http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/cats-nonplussed http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/cats-nonplussed#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 09:40:49 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/cats-nonplussed Here you will find a collection of cats who seem bewildered and angry about being forced to don headwear.

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]]> Here you will find a collection of cats who seem bewildered and angry about being forced to don headwear.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/cats-nonplussed/feed 1 Maybe Cat People Really Are Losers http://www.theawl.com/2011/10/maybe-cat-people-really-are-losers http://www.theawl.com/2011/10/maybe-cat-people-really-are-losers#comments Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:50:09 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2011/10/maybe-cat-people-really-are-losers "While visiting her mother in Pennsylvania this month, Lauren Pytel, a 47-year-old high school English teacher who lives in Tudor City, found herself pining for her cats, Tiggles ap Caduet and Munchie Effexorov, and their recently deceased siblings, Claritin and Zoloft."
—Much like with Occupy Wall Street, when you're a cat person, sometimes it's real hard to deal with your fellow travelers. But yes: now you can play with the cats at Bideawee (a very fine shelter!) online, by means of the Internet. It's just like going to a Brooklyn deli to pet cats, except you don't get your hands dirty (or, you know, seltzer).

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]]> "While visiting her mother in Pennsylvania this month, Lauren Pytel, a 47-year-old high school English teacher who lives in Tudor City, found herself pining for her cats, Tiggles ap Caduet and Munchie Effexorov, and their recently deceased siblings, Claritin and Zoloft."
—Much like with Occupy Wall Street, when you're a cat person, sometimes it's real hard to deal with your fellow travelers. But yes: now you can play with the cats at Bideawee (a very fine shelter!) online, by means of the Internet. It's just like going to a Brooklyn deli to pet cats, except you don't get your hands dirty (or, you know, seltzer).

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/10/maybe-cat-people-really-are-losers/feed 5 Is Imaginary Cat Imaginary Dead? http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/is-imaginary-cat-imaginary-dead http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/is-imaginary-cat-imaginary-dead#comments Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:20:57 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/is-imaginary-cat-imaginary-dead
If you've never quite understood the Schrödinger's cat experiment, maybe this animated explanation will help you. Or maybe not; I still don't get it. But, you know, it's quantum mechanics, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it too much. All I know is that if a cat's in that box, there is probably a bunch of cat crap in there as well. And this is why I am not a scientist.

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If you've never quite understood the Schrödinger's cat experiment, maybe this animated explanation will help you. Or maybe not; I still don't get it. But, you know, it's quantum mechanics, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it too much. All I know is that if a cat's in that box, there is probably a bunch of cat crap in there as well. And this is why I am not a scientist.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/is-imaginary-cat-imaginary-dead/feed 9 Your 2012 "Naked Dudes with Cats" Calendar http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/your-2012-naked-dudes-with-cats-calendar http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/your-2012-naked-dudes-with-cats-calendar#comments Thu, 01 Sep 2011 13:20:44 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2011/09/your-2012-naked-dudes-with-cats-calendar Well, here we are. The Internet is done, as discovered here: Introducing the 6 Packs 9 Lives 2012 Calendar. Yup, scantily clad guys with cats. It's for charity... CAT CHARITY.

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]]> Well, here we are. The Internet is done, as discovered here: Introducing the 6 Packs 9 Lives 2012 Calendar. Yup, scantily clad guys with cats. It's for charity... CAT CHARITY.

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