"Cardinal O'Brien has been accused of committing 'inappropriate acts' in his relations with three priests and one former priest from the diocese of St. Andrews and Edinburgh, British newspaper The Observer reported Sunday. O'Brien has been an outspoken opponent of gay rights." —Britain's top Catholic cardinal is skipping the papal election because of new revelations that he tried to bone four different priests. I wonder if reporters laugh when typing this stuff the way I laugh when reading it.

The biggest buildup in history to the 90-second process of signing up for a free Twitter account has now come to an end, as famous World War II German soldier and anti-gay marriage activist "Pope Bendict XVI" finally has another Twitter account. His name, on Twitter, is @pontifex, which is a portmanteau of … who knows, something about "penis." All the good Twitter handles are taken. Where's your god now, Joseph Ratzinger?

We tried to find this new account, @pontifex, by searching on Twitter. But it doesn't appear to exist, yet? Maybe it's not "live." Pope's got to roll out slowly, we suppose. So he doesn't [...]

Catholic League pedophile-excuser Bill Donohue is most truly the most spectacularly most horrible person imaginable.

When this Ratzinger character first became the pope in 2005, it finally seemed like there really was a God … and He obviously loved all the funny pictures and animated GIFs and Star Wars references and constant talk about Hitler on the Internet. Joseph Ratzinger was many things, none of them good, yet paradoxically he was also so very, very good for the Internet. In a way, he was the Internet in human form, much as Jesus Christ or Shiva or Thor were all supposedly God in human form.

Anyway, such great material! We're all going to miss him very much. Sadly, the next pope ("The Last Pope," according [...]

Rick Santorum, eager to show that he will stand up for Catholic values, has been saying things about the recent Health and Human Services regulation that now requires Catholic universities and hospitals to provide access to contraception and the morning-after pill. Santorum has accused the Obama administration of being "hostile to people of faith, particularly Christians and specifically Catholics.” He's even gone so far as to vow that he "will make it an issue every day of this campaign," until the Obama administration reinstates conscience protections. Santorum has also spoken up forcefully against same-sex marriage, which the Pope has—yes, again—recently condemned (in some really extreme terms, too).

Santorum [...]

What's the pope up to, this Christmas? Oh, just rallying the world's other intolerant religious leaders against the global menace of gay people registering at Macy's. Nothing says "Peace on Earth and good will towards men" like a yuletide jihad against same-sex marriage—because if there's anything the story of Christ's birth teaches us, it's to stigmatize and then attack people who lack legal and societal protections.

Pope Benedict on Friday signaled the Vatican was ready to forge alliances with other religions against gay marriage, saying the family was threatened "to its foundations" by attempts to change its "true structure."

The pope's latest denunciation of gay marriage came in [...]

It's a fine how-do-you-do. Fifty years after Democrats struggled to prove that their candidate for President "just happened to be a Catholic," now they face the prospect of painting a Republican challenger as a dangerous follower of Rome's socially extreme dogma.

The ascension of former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum to maybe-viable contender for his party's nomination and even a Pennsylvania Avenue address promises a number of rather unique possibilities. (Get ready for the "surprise" when he takes North Carolina.)

Most immediately, and a source of far more spiritual indigestion, a Santorum nomination would mean the most bloody dust-up over abortion and faith modern America has ever experienced. That's [...]