As near as anyone can tell, cops came up on a "stalled car" with guns out and shot up the car, claiming the driver had a gun. Twelve police officers likely shot four bystanders, definitely killed the driver and three officers were mildly injured.

They did not find a weapon in the car, however.

The police "are investigating unconfirmed reports that shots came from the car and that passengers were in the vehicle and bailed out." You know: "reports."

(The YouTube video above, while confusing, doesn't seem to show anyone "bailing out.")

Also, in a very old-school move, the police confiscated local news cameras on the scene, and grabbed and smashed a cellphone recording the incident (and also threw the cellphone's owner to the ground). They did, however, leave the car in the street until morning, quite riddled with bulletholes.

So of course today the City Council is meeting to decide what to do to keep black people from coming around.

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Sure, who likes a bunch of partying kids? They throw up a lot, it's boring. But so "future business" is I guess... not black people, mostly. (Mostly white people prefer murderous Russian oligarchs—a much better class of character, I guess.) Except, for this weekend? "The Fontainebleau Miami Beach, where the average room starts at $389, is at least 97 percent booked." And? "The street scene has been good to Prestige Luxury Auto Rentals in Miami, which had rented out 80 percent of its stock by Tuesday, including all its $2,000-a-day Lamborghinis and even pricier Ferraris." So you know, "they" are all luxurious enough to rent the town's entire stock of $2000-a-day rental cars but not luxurious enough to be... white. (Also, I'm sorry, have none of these white people ever set foot inside a Louis Vuitton store? Who do you think made that into a bajillion-dollar business?) Anyway, fine: more room at the Young Jeezy, Raekwon and Lil Wayne parties—and the Busta Rhymes All White Yacht Party. (LOL, yes he did.)

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Anyone who has been on the real Internet knows that the Obama-as-ape Photoshop actually predates the mainstream talk about his birth certificate. How prevalent is it? Very. Here's a collection of artwork depicting the nation's first-ever African American president as a primate, which builds on a long history of various racist Obama caricatures.

This green t-shirt is sold as the "Obama Chimp T-Shirt" with keywords "Barack Obama, 2008, 08, jefferson's theme t-shirt, yes we did t-shirt, t-shirt, barack obama stickers, funny democrat hats, college humor republican t-shirts."

And yes, there is a "Obama Chimp Baby Onesie" version.

The primate entry in a larger gallery of Obama art.

"Chimpout" is a notorious white supremacist site with a robust collection of images like the two above, which happen to be more reserved compared to others. Of course, the "Obamas as primates apes" theme and the fundamental (and admitted) racism of the site is a coincidence.

Update: Chimpout wanted to let people know more about their site. It is...

not a white supremacist website. We accept membership from Asians, Hispanics, Anglo, Indians, Arabs, Jews etc... We have a diverse membership and even our administration multi-racial. The purpose of chimpout.com is to expose the huge disproportionate amount of black crime including rape and murder in relation to the percentage of population.

We do not allow violent rhetoric, Nazi propaganda or other white nationalist garbage on our site.

We exist only to report the huge numbers of black crimes that get swept under the carpet by the mainstream media.

We do of course have our jokes and photo-shops but they are just for amusement. We really think much too highly of apes than to seriously compare them to blacks.

So there you go.

This Planet of the Apes spoof courtesy of Stormfront, the "white pride world wide" forum which counts a good many tea party advocates among its members.

Some of the Obama-as-ape shirts get pulled from online custom apparel sites like Zazzle, but not this one.

And it was less than a year ago that Glenn Beck said, “What planet have I landed on? Did I slip through a wormhole in the middle of the night and this looks like America? It’s like the damn Planet of the Apes!"

When confronted, the Orange County GOP official insisted the image was not at all racist. There exists a rich vein on the Internet of conservative blog posts that don't seem to understand at all why comparing Barack Obama to a primate is racist, while comparing George Bush to one is not racist. This is a conversation that is still going on.

See, when Bush was president, apparently some upset person or people created a wealth of George W. Bush monkey Photoshops. The argument from many on the right here is that because of this, a hundred years of racist sentiment comparing Africans and African Americans to primates apes is negated.

And then... no, wait, that's the whole argument.

The Louvre of Obama Photoshop, The People's Cube, "proved" this reverse racism not long ago when it created identical president shirts likening Bush and Obama to a monkey. One was banned and one was not.

That the Obama one was deemed racist by CafePress and Zazzle, and the Bush one was not, proves racism regarding Obama doesn't exist and everyone who says so is a hypocrite.

A perfect example of the argument in action is the post accompanying the above "Primate in Chief" image. It's the kind of reasoning commonly employed in the online political debate, maybe best represented by Andrew Breitbart's declaration that no racism existed during the health care debate protests because there is no video of anyone using the "n" word, even after he offered a $100,000 bounty. (It's the kind of "reasoning" that nobody would accept as disproof of Jesus, but, digression.)

The Orange County GOP official's answer about why she sent the image proves just how mainstream this sentiment about the hypocrisy over "monkey" racism is: "In no way did I even consider the fact he’s half black when I sent out the email. In fact, the thought never entered my mind until one or two other people tried to make this about race. We all know a double standard applies regarding this president. "

Yes, "a double standard" about all the ignored racism against all the white politicians over all the years.

Of course, the more "sensible" conservative media is spinning this as (another) case of one bad apple serving to "reignite baseless charges that any criticism directed at the president by the right is a function of racism" and give the otherwise not-at-all racist Tea Party a bad name.

The only surprise in this news about the ape photo finding its way to Obama's inbox is that it has not already happened 10,000 times. Then again, it probably has.

For the record, homophobic emails by GOP leaders are still totally acceptable.

Abe Sauer can be reached at abesauer at gmail dot com.

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But look, it's all fine because he's just helping shoppers identify the section with the store's robust offering of Halloween costumes for people who want to dress as Sexy Indian Girl or Super Mohawk, or who want their children to learn more about American Indian culture.

As a non-New Yorker who often finds his place of residence on the business end of East Coast liberal scorn, it's almost satisfying to know that Manhattanites are also clueless. Almost.

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We invaded Iraq anyway; but that didn't stop the Francophobia. In the ensuing 2004 election, when a Bush adviser told the New York Times that John Kerry "looks French," other media ran with it, shamefully giving it legs and maybe even costing the "surprisingly lifelike" John Kerry an election. James Taranto, of The Wall Street Journal, pounded away on this French connection throughout the election. Limbaugh of course also locked on, referring to Kerry as "French-looking" and "Jean Cheri" Tom DeLay (R-HELL) started speeches saying, "Good afternoon, or, as John Kerry might say, Bonjour." Commerce Secretary Don Evans called Kerry a "fellow of a different political stripe who looks French." There were many more, including Sun Times writer Mark Steyn calling Kerry "America's first French president."

The height of this stupidity came in the form of food wars. In March 2003, all references to French fries and French toast on the menus of the House of Representatives restaurants were removed and replaced with "freedom." Representatives Robert W. Ney (R-Ohio) said at the time, "This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure many on Capitol Hill have with our so-called ally, France." (Ney would later make a less small effort by taking money from unquestionable ally Jack Abramoff.) The House menu did not revert to offering "French" fries and toast until 2006.

Fudruckers fine dining and the less-fine eating establishment called The United States Air Force both removed "French" as a descriptor of their fries and toast. There were, and are, many websites.

"Iraq first, France next!" and "First Iraq, then Chirac!" were a couple bumper stickers available to express one's opinion on the subject.

Less notable historical documents of the period that played on anti-France sentiment were films such as SWAT, which featured a murderous French gangster as the main bad guy, and Ocean's Twelve and Catwoman, both of which also featured French baddies.

This Francophobia went so far that French's mustard, concerned about flagging sales, was forced to put out an official statement clarifying that its brand came from a family name, not, yuck, from France.

The point is that none of these ridiculous France references would have been possible if a large segment of America was not somehow convinced that the French were indeed goons and against our interests. The Gallup Poll: Public Opinion 2004 noted of the American public's sentiment: "The favorable image of France nose-dived from 79% in February 2002 to 59% in February 2003, and all the way down to 34% in March of that same year..."

Cut to today, five years on, and Hardee's, one of the nation's largest, most popular purveys of food-like substances, has launched its latest contribution to American obesity: The French Dip.

The very demographic that often eats at Hardee's is likely very similar to the lobotomized demographic that fed on, and fueled, the Francophobia of a half decade ago.

Hardee's is even running ads featuring French maids and French kissing with the tagline "It's better when it's French." There is even a Hardee's "French Me" website. And a campaign.

A Hardee's street team will "French-ify Hardee's Fans in 11 US cities:" From the (just shocking) press release [all very sic]:

"What do maids, toast, kisses and burgers all have in common? They're all better when they're French," said Brad Haley, Hardee's Executive Vice President of Marketing... "We Mesdemoiselles cannot wait to pull on our stockings and get a little dirty," said Isabelle, Hardee's French Maid Captain. "Zere are hungry messieurs all over zee country and we are going to French zem all with Hardee's new crème de la crème of burgers...the French Dip Thickburger!"

Nothing at a massive national chain like Hardee's happens because a couple guys in a room decide "what the hell." There are market surveys and testing and consumer research and branding, all looking for the new product sweet spot. That means that some giant New York firm put on their hazmat suits and went out to The People and tested names like "The Man Monster," "Au Jus Delight", "The Hamminator," and "The French Dip," and that these results pointed to a market that most favored "French Dip." This means that just five-odd years after people were whipped into a froth enough to support a move by their elected officials to rename the French fry and shun a presidential candidate over even the suggestion he might "look French," they are willing to pay $4 for a bunch of heated meatish matter on a bleached-white bun named a French Dip.

Jenna Petroff, a very nice public relations manager for Hardee's Food Systems, Inc. filled me in on the French Dip: "We didn't have any concern about anti-French sentiment before and we haven't seen any responses now that the ad campaign has launched to indicate otherwise, In fact, our street team, the French Femmes (four beautiful French Maids on segways) are now in their second month of touring various markets throughout the Midwest and Southeast. They've been very well received, attending sporting events, concerts and other public venues, passing out French Dip Thickburger coupons and taking pics with their fans. You can see more on the tour at www.frenchdiptour.com."

So assuming a PR rep would never lie to me, this means that Hardee's reps, less than six years after a Las Vegas talk radio station held an anti-France public crushing of French products and a Pennsylvania rep and 40-plus co-sponsors introduced House Resolution 119, prohibiting state-sponsored liquor stores from buying French wine, and Las Vegas' Paris (!) hotel and casino removed all its French flags, Hardee's said: "Yeah, French! That's a great idea!"

In a follow up, Jenna told me that, while the company doesn't release numbers, it is "very pleased" with French Dip sales so far.

And in the event she is covering something up (which I doubt), and Hardee's worried themselves silly about how "French" would be received, going so far as to run $10 million worth of market tests, so what? The ultimate result is the same and it's that the thing exists at all and is being widely purchased.

And for the current hullabaloo, that's a good thing. A look at the current health care fearmongering and misinformation campaign reveals a lot of the same players. For (perennial) example, there is Bill O'Reilly. During the anti-France thing, O'Reilly called for a "boycott of France," which, besides not making any sense as one cannot boycott a geographic entity, included bumper stickers and regular O'Reilly segments lying about how much economic damage his viewers were doing. He fanned flames of what was genuine nationwide hatred.

It wasn't until 2007 that the pundit lifted his boycott; though his "boycott France" bumper stickers remained available because "you never know, we may have to re-impose it." Surprise then that Bill is now on about "death panels" and generally encouraging the loons that are turning town halls into gun shows and circuses.

Mr. DeLay, he of the "Bonjour" slur, is fanning the white-hot LCD-flames of the current outrage by making up fairy tales about "quadriplegics on gurneys" being "dumped on the floor in front of my podium."

And how about The Wall Street Journal's James Taranto? Oh here he is: "...the country's culture of freedom [is] deep-seated enough, to thwart any authoritarian impulses Obama and his men may have." (Also, James seems to not have given up on the French thing even though the rest of America has; on Aug. 19 he wrote "...John Kerry, the haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam.")

So America has again shown itself to be a toadying zombie mob with a terrible memory. We quite simply cannot remember what we loved or hated ten minutes ago. Some have worried of late about how the current town-hall-attending anti-socialism "water-the-tree" lunatic fringe is boiling up to "do something." But recent experience, in this case, most likely does indicate future performance. That is to say, it all ads up to cable news theatre and a surplus of embarrassing bumper stickers. Five years from now, the hot Christmas toy will be the new Socialism Elmo. Today's manufactured "socialism" scare is yesterday's anti-France zealotry. And the next outrage is anyone's guess. But we can be sure it will have an expiration date.

By the way, the French Dip thing is delicious.

Previously: The Last of the Hot Summer Town Halls: How We've All Been Fooled by the Health Care Debate

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SingleWhiteFootmat, 18
I'm looking to meet guys interested in wiping their feet (boots, socks, bare) all over my face.

Initially it'd be hot if they treated me like dirt (disregarding me almost while i do their feet) but eventually would like good conversation. ;-)

Sorry, not into asians.

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