He's baaaaaaack. Setting aside the noise of Cannes wrapping up (Kanye West: "I don't answer questions.") comes the verdict on Michael Haneke's Amour, which should open in the U.S. late this year, under the Oscar wire. It sounds great!

Apparently "Up," the Pixar film that opened Cannes last night (I know!), left everyone weeping. When will someone stop the agenda of the gay Jewish eco-communists at Pixar?

Listen, you Cannes-going blog-bots and would-be critics: you need to shut your flapping fingertips about Tree of Life and Terrence Malick, right now. Yes, it's great that you got to see it, and yes, 50% of you were like "ooh, I need to see it again to know what I really think about it" (not you, Manohla dear), which is heinously annoying, especially for those of us for whom this is the Movie Event of the Year, and then you were all like, "well it's a long, atmospheric look at big questions!" Really? You think? A TERRENCE MALICK MOVIE? And "oh gosh, it's a big picture, sweeping, and maybe [...]

"Inglourious Basterds clocks in at nearly three hours, and its director could certainly have trimmed more of its flab." OR! "Even at 160 minutes, the film feels rushed."