The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:05:51 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 Poor Monica Hesse Is Also A Failed Lesbian http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/poor-monica-hesse-is-also-a-failed-lesbian http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/poor-monica-hesse-is-also-a-failed-lesbian#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:05:51 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/poor-monica-hesse-is-also-a-failed-lesbian MONICA HESSE IN 2006 JUST POST LESBIANISM I GUESS?Poor Monica Hesse is hated by every gay blogger in America pretty much, because she wrote a funny Washington Post profile about the head of NOM NOM NOM, who is a cheery douchebag with an obsession on hating gay marriage, and all the gays were like, NO ONE CAN BE NICE TO THAT MONSTER. Which isn't a terribly wrong viewpoint, but, seriously homos, turn it down a notch. So the WaPo ombudsman devoted his Sunday column to Miss Monica and her story, and revealed that she is a failed lesbian! This is so much better than "I have soooo many black friends."

As far as journalism goes, this is all so rotten, because it's basically the paper saying "we should be more neutral and boring," which, nope, you should not! Do not do that! And sure that story wasn't ideal, but come on.

But as far as the lesbianism goes: say what? This is what she wrote to the Hordes of Angry Readers, according to the ombudsbore:

"My current partner is a man," she wrote them. "Before him, my partner of two years was a woman, with whom I discussed health insurance, kids, houses and marriage. You can bet that I found the fact that our marriage wouldn't have been legal to be wrong as hell."

Apparently now she is 28. But according to a piece of hers from earlier this month, "last year," when she was 26, she told all her friends she was getting married, after three years with her boyfriend. Which means they started when she was... 23? And, she would have graduated Bryn Mawr when she was... 22? (Which, you know: insert "compulsory lesbian" Bryn Mawr joke here.) Apart from the timeline, and whatever, I have had back-to-back lovers and who hasn't (also: that's what she said!), the problem with her trend story accounting of telling her friends she was getting married and how they all freaked out is like, um, maybe some of them were freaking out because YOU WERE OSTENSIBLY A LESBIAN (and actually she did look a bit more lady-loving back in 2004), which she does not at all mention? Oh and also you were talking about marriage with her but then you were suddenly with a man. Listen, we are all down with bisexuals here, we think it is great. But you have to give your friends and your trend stories a little bit of extra room and tender loving care and I guess "honesty" if you care going to bisex it up.

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]]> MONICA HESSE IN 2006 JUST POST LESBIANISM I GUESS?Poor Monica Hesse is hated by every gay blogger in America pretty much, because she wrote a funny Washington Post profile about the head of NOM NOM NOM, who is a cheery douchebag with an obsession on hating gay marriage, and all the gays were like, NO ONE CAN BE NICE TO THAT MONSTER. Which isn't a terribly wrong viewpoint, but, seriously homos, turn it down a notch. So the WaPo ombudsman devoted his Sunday column to Miss Monica and her story, and revealed that she is a failed lesbian! This is so much better than "I have soooo many black friends."

As far as journalism goes, this is all so rotten, because it's basically the paper saying "we should be more neutral and boring," which, nope, you should not! Do not do that! And sure that story wasn't ideal, but come on.

But as far as the lesbianism goes: say what? This is what she wrote to the Hordes of Angry Readers, according to the ombudsbore:

"My current partner is a man," she wrote them. "Before him, my partner of two years was a woman, with whom I discussed health insurance, kids, houses and marriage. You can bet that I found the fact that our marriage wouldn't have been legal to be wrong as hell."

Apparently now she is 28. But according to a piece of hers from earlier this month, "last year," when she was 26, she told all her friends she was getting married, after three years with her boyfriend. Which means they started when she was... 23? And, she would have graduated Bryn Mawr when she was... 22? (Which, you know: insert "compulsory lesbian" Bryn Mawr joke here.) Apart from the timeline, and whatever, I have had back-to-back lovers and who hasn't (also: that's what she said!), the problem with her trend story accounting of telling her friends she was getting married and how they all freaked out is like, um, maybe some of them were freaking out because YOU WERE OSTENSIBLY A LESBIAN (and actually she did look a bit more lady-loving back in 2004), which she does not at all mention? Oh and also you were talking about marriage with her but then you were suddenly with a man. Listen, we are all down with bisexuals here, we think it is great. But you have to give your friends and your trend stories a little bit of extra room and tender loving care and I guess "honesty" if you care going to bisex it up.

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See more posts by Choire Sicha

33 comments

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