The Awl

Breasts Slapped

Alex Balk — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 11:30:05 +0000

"For those women who may seek breast augmentation but would rather not undergo surgery, there is an alternative in the form of a new craze that is slapping its way silly across Thailand. The government of Thailand is promoting the controversial technique known as 'breast-slapping' which involves kneading, massaging and hitting breasts as well as the buttocks in order to firm the rear."

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Life In The Age Before Bras

Alex Balk — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:20:43 +0000

"Picture it: It's the seventeenth century. Bras don't exist yet. As a typical woman, what do you do?"

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Get A Load Of The Frederick Law Olmsteds On Her!

Alex Balk — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 16:20:15 +0000

"All in all, it was a pretty positive, if somewhat anticlimactic, experience. I tried to act as normal as possible, but it’s hard not to smile when you’re doing something so obviously goofy. I don’t think it’s yet possible for a woman to walk around topless without having people assume she’s pulling some sort of stunt, which is a shame. Granted, I was doing a social experiment of sorts, but it would be nice to be able to do it just because it feels good."
—Jamie Peck of The Gloss takes a topless stroll through Central Park. WARNING: Includes boobs.

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Snake Makes Fatal Error In Breast Attack

Alex Balk — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 11:50:31 +0000

"A SNAKE died of silicone poisoning — after biting a girl on the BOOB." There is video and everything. It's, uh, really something.

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Rupert Murdoch Changes The Face Of Journalism Again

Alex Balk — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 09:50:49 +0000

It's both a celebration and an innovation: "To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the national insitution, we're bringing it into the 21st century with our fab new interactive feature. Who'd have thought 40 years ago that you'd one day be able to interact your favourite Page 3 lovely. Simply click the link to launch a pop-up of today's Page 3 girl Hollie, click and drag your mouse and watch as she turns.... she'll pirouette to your command." [WARNING: Includes tits.]

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'Wired' Mag's Chesty Cover Not Feeling Great for All Women

Choire Sicha — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 10:00:01 +0000

Now that the December Wired is hitting inboxes, some women are noticing that the cover image, which is breasts, seems to them like an extension of the magazines use of women as rare decorative objects. (Even while the issue does address advances in tissue reconstruction.) Since in particular women don't make the cover this decade on their Wiredey merits. Fortunately Wired editor Chris Anderson is listening!

@anildash I hope your 2nd reaction was to read the article, on the science of breast tissue engineering. Make sense now?less than a minute ago via webChris Anderson
chr1sa

Or not. But did you read it ladies?

The ladies did! Also.

@chr1sa @anildash Alt cover for female Wired readers: re-engineered extra-ocular tissue strained from eye-rolling.less than a minute ago via webElizabeth Spiers
espiers

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Miracle Happens For Pretty Girl With Nice Pair Of Tits

Alex Balk — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 10:50:15 +0000

In an era of austerity and doubt, when it seems as if the possibilities available to previous generations have been foreclosed upon for the rest of us, it is always encouraging to see hopes realized: "STUNNING Sam Faiers – who claims to be the hottest Essex girl – today fulfills her dream of posing topless for The Sun website." Brings a tear to your eye, right?

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Must Focus On Importance Of Research, Must Focus On Importance Of Research

Alex Balk — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 10:00:28 +0000

Talk to me about "jiggle," Science: "Researchers from the University of Portsmouth in England and other schools recently attached reflective markers to the breasts of a group of female runners and had the women jog along a track while wearing various types of bras or forgoing breast support. The researchers charted the trajectories of the women's breasts, using infrared cameras." But to what end?

What the researchers found was that breast sway did, in fact, have a significant effect on the women's running. When the runners were braless, their strides changed; they landed more heavily, with more of the impact force moving through the inside of their feet. This alteration in stride seemed to be related to "significantly higher amounts of breast movement in that direction," said Jenny White, a doctoral candidate at the University of Portsmouth and the study's lead author. As the breasts swung from side to side, so, in effect, the researchers hypothesized, did the women's body weights. The implications of this finding are disquieting. "Higher forces exerted by the foot when running indicate a higher intensity of stress for a runner," Ms. White said, "which has potential to increase physiological demand." The extra forces also, over time, can "lead to the development of stress-related injuries."

This is actually very important research. If we can find a way to allow women to remain fit while reducing the risk of injury we can quite literally improve both mental and physical well-being throughout our society. I'm very serious when I say that, particularly given rising obesity rates and our more sedentary lifestyles, it's extremely vital that we focus on solutions that will help people stay in shape and increase positive health outcomes. Which is why I am so ashamed that all I can think when I read this story is, "Holy hell, how can I get a job where I get to stick mirrored tassels on pendulous breasts and then sit back and watch them bounce around a track all afternoon?" It is disrespectful, juvenile and sexist, and I am very sorry. But, you know, COME ON.

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Spectre Of Size 12 Woman Having Sex Forces Fox And ABC To Suddenly Realize They Have Standards

Maura Johnston — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 14:10:28 +0000

Here is the Lane Bryant ad (for underwear!) (worn by and marketed to plus-sized women!) that was apparently too hot for airing during Dancing With The Stars and American Idol because it showed a lady heading off for a "lunch" while wearing only a trenchcoat, some lingerie, and a pair of shoes. Whether or not this is some big publicity stunt that the plus-sized fashion retailer devised is up for debate. Maybe the standards and practices departments at ABC and Fox are simply anti-nooners in general! But it should be known that the store has put up an irritable blog post about the whole thing that also manages to call out those freaky-annoying Playtex commercials.

We knew the ads were sexy, but they are not salacious. Our new commercials represent the sensuality of the curvy woman who has more to show the world than the typical waif-like lingerie model. What we didn't know was that the networks, which regularly run Victoria's Secret and Playtex advertising on the very shows from which we're restricted, would object to a different view of beauty. If Victoria's Secret and Playtex can run ads at any time during the 9pm to 10pm hour, why is Lane Bryant restricted only to the final 10 minutes?

It should be noted that the Playtex ads don't merely show waiflike women, although the ads that have made it to television are pretty "unsexy." For comparison's sake, here is a video that shows off the outfit that Pamela Anderson wore while twirling and pouting her way through last week's Dancing With The Stars. I guess it has a longer hemline than the trench?

(Oh and by the way, in case you were wondering? Lane Bryant is no longer a corporate sister of Victoria's Secret. Both were owned by the mall-monopolizing Limited Brands until 2002, when LB was spun off to Charming Shoppes. I was all set to believe that this was some sort of crazy cross-promotion in which VS and LB would eventually come together and form a Voltron of bra-selling, but alas!)

[Via]

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Home Taping (Of Topless Women) Is Killing Plastic Surgery

Maura Johnston — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:20:38 +0000

An important New York Post trend piece on fake breasts being so out of style that even Hollywood is over them notes that it's not only the possibility of being sent to the hospital because of bursting implants that's making their popularity wane — the many un-implanted women showing off their natural assets on the Internet are helping, too. "We [now] see a healthy balance of tastes, not just an overabundance of augmented breasts," says Internet Nudity Expert Sasha Grey, who apparently is qualified to judge what is a "healthy balance" of physical preferences because of her background as an American Apparel model? For their part, the Post's always-classy pool of pseudonymous commenters disagreed, saying "Big boobs are where it at!" and "Fake boobs are so hot..if done right...give me a chubby every time. LOL." So, take it with a grain of salt I guess.

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